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#1 |
Soul Man
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Everywhere, all the time.
Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit).
Posts: 6,481
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The weather has been shit lately, so I decided to go down to the Coin-op, and wash the salt off my truck today.
They have a sign hanging in the bay, that says NO TRUCK BED WASHING in big red letters. I've seen that sign before, and I've always ignored it. It's not like I'm dumping plutonium. I just have a couple hand fulls of leaves back there, and that shit has to go. So I start washing out the back of my truck like I always do, and some punk-ass, zit-faced kid appears out of nowhere and starts yelling at me. "Hey! You can't do that!" "Excuse me?" "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" "It's a hand full of leaves, stop having kittens". "I SAID, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" (At this point, I'm getting just a little bit pissed.) "Kid, I think it's about time you started thinking about getting out of my face." "YEAH? OR WHAT ASSHOLE?" Now, ordinarily, I'm a pretty even tempered guy, but this shit had gone on long enough, and did that little fucknugget just call me an asshole? Yes, I believe he did. So I thought about it for about a tenth of a second, and I said, "Or this". Then I shot him in the face with the spray gun. (High Pressure, soapy setting) He looked fairly stunned, but the kid obviously had some kind of learning disability, because after I stopped spraying him, he proceeded to begin to cuss me out again. He only made it to "YOU SON OF A" when I sprayed him again. I kept spraying him until he ran away yelling something about the cops, and I ran out of hose. I considered leaving, what with the cops coming and all, but I still had seven minutes worth of quarters in the machine, and my truck was still soapy, so I stayed and finished up. I was pulling my mats off the wall, when the cops rolled up. The kid comes running back up yelling, "That's him! That's him!". I would have shot him again, but I was out of quarters. "Did you spray this boy?" asks the cop. "Yes sir. Twice." "Why did you do that?" "He called me asshole sir, and if I remember right, those are fighting words. He's just lucky I'm too cheap to spring for the hot wax". The cop laughed, and after a few minutes of the usual blah,blah, blah, he let me go. ![]() JC
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The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me. Last edited by askmrjesus; 01-14-2010 at 02:29 PM.. |
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#2 |
................
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 3,028
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![]() ![]() priceless....as I was reading that I started to say "I hope you sprayed his ass...and then ![]() In yo face biache....or wait...cunt funny
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“Being tolerant does not mean that I share another one’s belief. But it does mean that I acknowledge another one’s right to believe, and obey, his own conscience.” Viktor Frankl |
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#3 |
Chaotic Neutral
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Cherry Hill NJ
Moto: GV1200 Madura, Hawk gt
Posts: 13,992
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win
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TWF Post whore #6 |
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#4 |
moderator chick
![]() ![]() Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Hill Country TX
Moto: Pasta Rockets
Posts: 8,917
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Dammit... no video.
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We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "smart"? Come Play at the Track!! http://www.elitetrackdays.com |
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#5 |
White Trash Hero
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: NW Arkansas
Moto: Buell 1125R Porco Rosso Edition
Posts: 4,895
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Just when i thought you couldnt sink lower, that maybe you had demostrated the worst possible character...you something like this...
And COMPLETELY redeem yourself!!!
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![]() Arkriders.com To be the best you must first be willing to risk the worst! |
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#6 | |
DefenderOfTheBuelliverse
![]() Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Parts Unknown
Moto: Buell XB12R
Posts: 18,585
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Fucking awesome. As I was reading I hoped you were going there...and you did. Excellent!
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#7 |
Custom User Title
![]() Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Central NY
Moto: 2003 SV650S
Posts: 14,959
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out-freakin'-standing
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I'm not "fat." I'm "Enlarged to show texture." Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away. |
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#8 |
Moto GP Star
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 12,156
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Jesus - 1, cry baby - 0
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#9 |
Custom User Title
![]() Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Central NY
Moto: 2003 SV650S
Posts: 14,959
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see, if more of us lived closer to you, we could all go (one at a time) and do the same thing
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I'm not "fat." I'm "Enlarged to show texture." Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away. |
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#10 |
Moto GP Star
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 11,022
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great job, thats even better than smiting him
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