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#1 |
AMA Supersport
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Sydney
Moto: '98 Honda Fireblade
Posts: 3,696
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I didn't think we had a pet area on this forum, so I am posting this here. It's cute.
![]() FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY. The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required. The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door: TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS: (1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't hang out with drug-using people; (7) don't smoke or drink, (8) don't want to wear your clothes, (9) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ... |
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#2 |
Victim of Blazer Rapage
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Talkeetna, AK
Moto: 06 GSXR 600
Posts: 1,707
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![]() ![]() I haven't seen that before but that was a good one. Very true as well! |
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#3 |
Moto GP Star
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 11,022
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good stuff, but dont forget the pets with no legs
![]() they also serve a purpose in keeping annoying people out of my house. Ewwww you have snakes, I am never comming to your house. Good I wasnt goign to invite you over anyway. Tom |
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#4 | ||
Wanting to Go Back!!!!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: North Louisiana
Moto: A Twin
Posts: 4,067
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The key to living a full life is to live dangerously, yet not dying stupidly. ![]() ![]() My knee pads may be Air-Ride and chrome plated but I have standards as to who I use them on. Quote:
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#5 | |
Spiker bike
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: KCK
Moto: KZ750
Posts: 1,629
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Had a neighbor that kept a stuffed goat in the front yard just for that reason. Having a sister that's a professional door knocker comes in handy.............sometimes. |
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#6 | |
Hopster
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Austin, TX
Moto: 2009 Buell 1125R
Posts: 4,743
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...oh, nm... those guys are Pentecostals.
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“Well, obviously before; after was all gendarmes and dick stitches.” |
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#7 | ||
Wanting to Go Back!!!!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: North Louisiana
Moto: A Twin
Posts: 4,067
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But they're elite. They'll only handle their own snakes. Anyone else's scares the Jesus out of them. ![]()
__________________
The key to living a full life is to live dangerously, yet not dying stupidly. ![]() ![]() My knee pads may be Air-Ride and chrome plated but I have standards as to who I use them on. Quote:
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#8 |
I give Squids a bad name
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Fly Over State
Moto: 1996 CBR600 F3 (AKA the Flying Turd)
Posts: 4,742
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Good post!
With my dog, if I do sleep on the couch he hops on top of me. But I give my dog full access to anywhere I go, including the bed since when I snore he doesn't complain. For you non-dog owning peeps. No outfit is complete without dog hair so get one.
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#9 |
TWFix Legend
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Denver CO
Moto: 01 BMW F650GS Dakar
Posts: 15,677
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Lol nice
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#10 | |
restorer of the original
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Zionsville,PA
Moto: '93 ZR1100 &'73 Kawasaki H1 500
Posts: 1,331
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Pretty good
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![]() Mochi got extra treats ![]() See, he's just a small pocket dog ![]() Jeff |
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