I will reference this list prior to tipping...be warned

[pauldun170]

100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do (Part 1)
By Bruce Buschel
Start-Up Chronicle

Herewith is a modest list of dos and don’ts for servers at the seafood restaurant I am building. Veteran waiters, moonlighting actresses, libertarians and baristas will no doubt protest some or most of what follows. They will claim it homogenizes them or stifles their true nature. And yet, if 100 different actors play Hamlet, hitting all the same marks, reciting all the same lines, cannot each one bring something unique to that role?

1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.

2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, “Are you waiting for someone?” Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.

3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.

4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right.

5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.

6. Do not lead the witness with, “Bottled water or just tap?” Both are fine. Remain neutral.

7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.

8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.

9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.

10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.

11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, “We only have two lobsters left.” Even if there are only two lobsters left.

12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.

13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.

14. When you ask, “How’s everything?” or “How was the meal?” listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right.

15. Never say “I don’t know” to any question without following with, “I’ll find out.”

16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.

17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.

18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, “Who’s having the shrimp?”

19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.

20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.

21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.

22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two.

23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.

24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.

25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the table.

26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket. Inquire.

27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.

28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while removing the cork.

29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less noise the better.

30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.

31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong.

32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.

33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.

34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within earshot of customers.

35. Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests.

36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and beverage.

37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. “Not when I’m on duty” will suffice.

38.Do not call a guy a “dude.”

39. Do not call a woman “lady.”

40. Never say, “Good choice,” implying that other choices are bad.

41. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.

42. Do not compliment a guest’s attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else.

43. Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It’s irrelevant.

44. Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose intolerant or diabetic.

45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.

46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal.

47. Do not gossip about co-workers or guests within earshot of guests.

48. Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for more; remember or consult the order.

49. Never mention the tip, unless asked.

50. Do not turn on the charm when it’s tip time. Be consistent throughout.

[HurricaneHeather]

I hate it when the waitor tells you how busy he is.

On Sunday ours left our check and said, "I just got double sat, so I'll be back when I get the chance."

[Cruzergirl]

Originally Posted by HurricaneHeather

I hate it when the waitor tells you how busy he is.

On Sunday ours left our check and said, "I just got double sat, so I'll be back when I get the chance."

I know! Why do they do that? I'm not their friend! I have wanted to reply back with a snide remark like oh, sorry, I don't have enough for a tip, I was too busy to get the cash" or I have just left a penny...that only happened once though.

[CrazyKell]

I wish more servers understood this list. Bad service is intolerable in my opinion and I hate feeling like I'm the one doing something wrong if I choose to complain. I shouldn't even have to think about the service.

[HurricaneHeather]

Originally Posted by CrazyKell

I wish more servers understood this list. Bad service is intolerable in my opinion and I hate feeling like I'm the one doing something wrong if I choose to complain. I shouldn't even have to think about the service.

This is why I rarely go out to eat and if I do, I prefer to go to a place you order at the counter and get your own drink. Tons of good places like that in Austin, so it's nice.

[wildchild]

oh oh oh #34 I had a waitress at an upscale restaurant sit down at a table of her friends and hold conversation. I had to go over and ask her to come and refill our drinks.

when i left, I gave her no tip and told the mgr about it. last time I went there.

great list, should be posted in restaurants everywhere.

[Apoc]

Service to me, is receiving a good, hot meal, in a reasonable time frame. As long as they arent utterly rude, the rest of that list makes no difference to me whatsoever.

I will tip a spectacular waitress more though. Really hot ones too.

[Papa_Complex]

Can you please add, "Do not sit down and apologize to the client for the poor service, halfway through the meal, and explain that it was because you were at a team building meeting the night before and got completely stinking drunk"?

[Riceaholic]

I've been a bartender/ server/manager most of my life and what kills me is that every item on that list should be common sense. If you aren't bright enough to have any one of these things occur to you without being told, you should be stocking shelves somewhere...

[wildchild]

Originally Posted by Riceaholic

I've been a bartender/ server/manager most of my life and what kills me is that every item on that list should be common sense. If you aren't bright enough to have any one of these things occur to you without being told, you should be stocking shelves somewhere...

ah the difference between those who belong in the field and do well and those who think it is all they can get and resent every moment at their job.