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#1 |
token jewboy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Moto: CBR 900, KLR ugly ass duckling, Gas Man
Posts: 10,799
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Made me laugh a little
Dear Scientist, I am cold. For the past few years I have been hearing about global warming, and all the efforts you and your fellow scientist to control the rapid warming of the earth. In fact I applaude your efforts, however the last few years have been quite cool and I really don't see much of a temperature change from where I stand. I am cold. It is now the middle of June and here in NJ we have had a record amount of rain and an unseasonably cool summer. This summer has been so cool in fact that I have only worn a t-shirt one time, let alone go for a dip in the pool. I am thinking about trying to "globally warm" a smaller area of the earth, about one half acre (the size of my back yard. At this point my efforts have yielded no results. My first experiment is through aerosol cans. My research has shown that the product "Hairnet" is no longer produced with aerosol however Loews still carries a number of different spray paint cans which are very similar to aerosol cans, and preceded to empty 14 cans of black paint into the atmosphere. I did this on day that was not windy at all and again I measured no noticeable temperature fluctuations other that what can be expected on a daily basis. I had at this point dubbed my experimenting "Globally Influenced Local Climate Influencing Posturing" GILCIP for short, although my wife says that it is a rather catchy name and I should try to patent it so that it does not get stolen and misused. My second experiment in GILCIP had to do with the internal combustion engine. I wrapped saran wrap around the fence in my back yard (at great expense to myself, it took 18 saran wrap packages to complete this task), and pointed the exhaust from my car in that general direction. After letting my car run with the exhaust spewing into my back yard for two tanks of gas, 15 gallons each tank, and not noticing any large fluctuations in temperature (except what was expected due to natural daily temperature variations) I decided that this experiment was a failure. My third and final experiment with GILCIP was with deforestation. I had read in National Geographic magazine that deforestation is among the leading possible causes of climate change. It took me a long time to come to the realization, by the end of the Dr. House marathon I had come to the realization that one possibly both trees would need to be sacrificed in the name of science. I started out with the tree in the far back corner of the yard. It only took me about 20 minutes with the chain saw and I had it down in it's side, de-branched, de-barked, and cut into 22 smaller pieces for transport to my fire pit. Not wanting to totally destroy my lawn I decided against burning the grass to clear it away. After two days of measuring the outside temperature of my back yard I noticed no change, so I went ahead and cut down the other tree which is just behind the house. Again I measure the temperature for 2 more days and nothing has changed. Finally I decided that the deforestation experiments had failed. I am doing my best not to affect the climate on a global scale, just on a very local one, all the rest of my ideas for experiments include rather large, expensive and destructive ideas, and I am not willing to create a volcano or detonate a small yield nuclear warhead. If there is anything else that you think I can do to warm up the area that is my back yard please let me know. At this point I still have my saran wrap fence still up and am willing to continue experimenting. I did get a sunburn from all this so it is possible that I might have damaged the ozone layer directly above my house, please check into that for me. Also can you please forward this to any other scientist friends you may have who can possibly help me, it would be greatly appreciated. I tried contacting Al Gore about this for his opinion, but to this point he has not replied to me. -Mullens
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#2 |
Moto GP Star
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 14,556
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I watch a lot of Discovery Channel and everything from jelly fish population growth to polar bear litter numbers are blamed on man made global warming.
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