Go Back   Two Wheel Fix > General > Off Topic

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-19-2011, 06:30 PM   #1
fatbuckRTO
This is not the sig line.
 
fatbuckRTO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Moto: Be prepared. What? Oh, *moto*...
Posts: 1,279
Default my thread o' hate: hate harder

From the forum that must not be named:
Quote:
I will post things that I hate, thus relieving the intense pressure in the back of my head driving me to scream to everyone how I hate these things. You are welcome to join me, or disagree with me, but you'll likely get no argument from me. I hate these things and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

First and foremost:

For being famous for no reason and in headlines and therefore forcing me to know who you are; Anna Nicole Smith (also for dying but still somehow monopolizing headlines), the Dixie Chicks, Paris Hilton, and Rosie Odonnel.

Also, Texas drivers. I always know when I cross the border into Texas because at least three people immediately try to run me off the road.

NMCI. I hate this network and everyone even remotely associated with it. I could string together a better system with fishing line and a couple dozen coffee cans. If you made money in any capacity from NMCI, other than being one of those unfortunate enough to be forced to use it, you deserve to die a thousand horrible bloody-and-burning-and-drowning-all-at-the-same-time deaths.
I need this again. It just so happens that my immediate object of hatred was one of the originals: Texas drivers. What I hate even more is that, from time to time, I see myself becoming one. They're like the Borg. Loud, annoying, usually distracted, poorly-coordinated Borg. With hats.
__________________
This was no time for half measures. He was a captain, godsdammit. An officer.
Things like this didn't present a problem for an officer. Officers had a tried and
tested way of solving problems like this. It was called a sergeant.

-Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
fatbuckRTO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 06:39 PM   #2
Corey
AMA Supersport
 
Corey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Florida
Moto: Not a damn thing
Posts: 2,612
Default

When I lived in New York, I thought it was New York drivers. When I lived in Texas, I thought it was Texas drivers. In Florida, I think it's Florida drivers. But it's not. It's everyone. We are getting horrendously worse as a whole. Piss poor drivers ed, retardedly easy driving tests, cell phones, tvs, food, and any other distraction that can be crammed into a car. I'm a better rider than a driver just because of the lack of distractions. It ain't just Texas. It's America.
__________________
Half man, half horse, half motorcycle. All awesome.

"Your game is shit, your company is shit. Activision ruined you! Activision ruined you." - Francis
Corey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-20-2011, 08:32 AM   #3
fatbuckRTO
This is not the sig line.
 
fatbuckRTO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Moto: Be prepared. What? Oh, *moto*...
Posts: 1,279
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Corey View Post
When I lived in New York, I thought it was New York drivers. When I lived in Texas, I thought it was Texas drivers. In Florida, I think it's Florida drivers. But it's not. It's everyone.
I don't think Texas drivers are the worst. I just hate them. I wasn't living in Texas the first time I wrote this, I was living in Louisiana. And Louisiana has some real pieces of work on the road, to be sure.

Actually, in my opinion the worst are Atlanta drivers. With Birmingham a very close second. It's not just the size of the cities, either, because I've lived in New Orleans and done quite a bit of driving in and around San Diego. And Hawaii was just a downright pleasant driving experience (except for the tourists, who you could usually see coming in their rented rag-top Mustangs). But in Atlanta and Birmingham, you'd swear that you had deflowered the sister of every dillweed on the road, because those bastards come after you with a grudge.

But Texas drivers, I have to deal with them every day now, so I hate them. I hate the roads too. They seem to have been engineered by a drunken crack-baby monkey drawing out streets with a half a piece of chalk and bits of feces.
__________________
This was no time for half measures. He was a captain, godsdammit. An officer.
Things like this didn't present a problem for an officer. Officers had a tried and
tested way of solving problems like this. It was called a sergeant.

-Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
fatbuckRTO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2011, 06:30 PM   #4
Papa_Complex
Nomadic Tribesman
 
Papa_Complex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Brampton, Canada
Moto: '09 ER-6n
Posts: 11,150
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by fatbuckRTO View Post
I don't think Texas drivers are the worst. I just hate them. I wasn't living in Texas the first time I wrote this, I was living in Louisiana. And Louisiana has some real pieces of work on the road, to be sure.

Actually, in my opinion the worst are Atlanta drivers. With Birmingham a very close second. It's not just the size of the cities, either, because I've lived in New Orleans and done quite a bit of driving in and around San Diego. And Hawaii was just a downright pleasant driving experience (except for the tourists, who you could usually see coming in their rented rag-top Mustangs). But in Atlanta and Birmingham, you'd swear that you had deflowered the sister of every dillweed on the road, because those bastards come after you with a grudge.

But Texas drivers, I have to deal with them every day now, so I hate them. I hate the roads too. They seem to have been engineered by a drunken crack-baby monkey drawing out streets with a half a piece of chalk and bits of feces.
I have driven in both Birmingham and Atlanta, during rush hour. You, Sir, do not want to visit Toronto. At least not if you plan on doing your own driving.
__________________
"Everything's better with pirates." - Lodge, "Dorkness Rising"

http://www.morallyambiguous.net/
Papa_Complex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2011, 08:38 PM   #5
fatbuckRTO
This is not the sig line.
 
fatbuckRTO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Moto: Be prepared. What? Oh, *moto*...
Posts: 1,279
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Papa_Complex View Post
You, Sir, do not want to visit Toronto. At least not if you plan on doing your own driving.
You are correct sir.

I'd rather see the Canadian wilderness anyway.
__________________
This was no time for half measures. He was a captain, godsdammit. An officer.
Things like this didn't present a problem for an officer. Officers had a tried and
tested way of solving problems like this. It was called a sergeant.

-Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
fatbuckRTO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2011, 08:47 PM   #6
Papa_Complex
Nomadic Tribesman
 
Papa_Complex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Brampton, Canada
Moto: '09 ER-6n
Posts: 11,150
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by fatbuckRTO View Post
You are correct sir.

I'd rather see the Canadian wilderness anyway.
Good plan. But fly into Toronto, just to see what the women in the most culturally diverse city in the world look like, then catch a connection to Banff
__________________
"Everything's better with pirates." - Lodge, "Dorkness Rising"

http://www.morallyambiguous.net/
Papa_Complex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 06:47 PM   #7
Avatard
Crotch Rocket Curmudgeon
 
Avatard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Here to integrity
Moto: Li'l red baby Ninja
Posts: 7,482
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by fatbuckRTO View Post
They're like the Borg. Loud, annoying, usually distracted, poorly-coordinated Borg. With hats.
I have a few criteria that I use to quickly assess other drivers on the road for dangerous potential when approaching them, for my own safety. These are the "warning signs" that usually indicate a bad driver:

Hat
Cigar/Pipe
Oriental
Volvo
Jesus bumper sticker

Clearly, if you should ever approach what appears to be an Oriental driver, in a Volvo sporting a Jesus bumpersticker, wearing a hat, and smoking...GIVE THE MOTHERFUCKER ROOM.
__________________
Insert free thought here.
Avatard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 07:13 PM   #8
askmrjesus
Soul Man
 
askmrjesus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Everywhere, all the time.
Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit).
Posts: 6,481
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Avatard View Post
These are the "warning signs" that usually indicate a bad driver:

New Jersey tag.
Fixd.

JC
__________________
The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.
askmrjesus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 08:40 PM   #9
Particle Man
Custom User Title
 
Particle Man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Central NY
Moto: 2003 SV650S
Posts: 14,959
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Avatard View Post
HANDICAP TAGS
added in caps above.

More often than not, I'm convinced that the handicap in question is a complete inability to drive AND a total and absolute lack of the ability to fucking PARK.

Is driving and parking like a complete idiot a handicap? Apparently so.
__________________
I'm not "fat."
I'm "Enlarged to show texture."


Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away.
Particle Man is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 09:38 PM   #10
derf
token jewboy
 
derf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Moto: CBR 900, KLR ugly ass duckling, Gas Man
Posts: 10,799
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Avatard View Post
These are the "warning signs" that usually indicate a bad driver:

Hat
Cigar/Pipe
Oriental
Volvo
Jesus bumper sticker
You forgot woman
__________________
derf is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:51 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.