It's a conspiracy

[HurricaneHeather]

I am now convinced of reading this story about Billy Mays death that there is a conspiracy out against the airline industry.

I am pretty sure that someone is trying to ensure that any random concern that any random Joe-Traveler has is brought to a horrific realization.

Planes crash because of birds, ice, random reasons no one knows all in the same friggin year? Then pilots are dying in flight, a fucking piece of luggage kills someone....are you friggin kidding me?!?!

There is someone somewhere making sure that the airlines are gonna make no money because so many people who have the option to fly, drive or stay home are gonna choose the latter two.

Your thoughts?

ETA: This is not serious. Please no one freak out. Actually just for the hell of it. I AM DEAD SERIOUS!! WE ARE ALL GONNA DIIIIIE!!!!!!!!!!!

[askmrjesus]

OMG!

You're right!

The Buggy Whip Illuminati killed Billy Mays!

JC

[askmrjesus]

It went down like this:

In 1784, Karl Theodor, (the ruler of Bavaria) outlawed the Illuminati, and kicked them out of Germany. The Illuminati banded together with the Freemasons and the Society for the preservation of Midget Hermaphrodites, and they all moved to Pennsylvania.

In 1908, Henry Ford invented the Model T. Ford, (who was a closet Hermaphrodite, yet quite tall for a midget) had a falling out with Thomas Edison, while working for Edison Illuminating Company, and split off from the Illuminati after Edison exclaimed that Ford's son Edsel, was quite possibly the ugliest baby ever born. Edison, whose "Illuminating" company was a front for the now Amish based Illuminati, held a meeting with the Amish's Buggy Whip consortium, and vowed revenge.

Several decades passed. The "Horseless Carriage" became immensely popular, and the Amish became more and more depressed. They began to set their sights on flight travel, but despite several attempts to scare the residents of the Pennsylvanian country side with Black Helicopters made with old buggy parts and Briggs & Stratton engines, they languished in relative obscurity, until Dick Cheney became Vice President in 2000.

Cheney, who was a French Jew by birth, contacted the sole living elder of the Buggy Whip consortium with a proposition. If the Amish could blow up a large American landmark with an airplane, his shares of stock in Haliburton would skyrocket, and the revenue could be used to refinance the reemergence of the New World Order. A plan was hatched, to disguise Amish teenagers as Muslim terrorists, and crash Zionist Boeing 767's into the World Trade Center.

As plans went, this one was rather one sided. Cheney reneged on his promise to fund the New World Order, and shot the sole surviving elder in the face with a shotgun.

The Amish were now completely devastated.

Enter one Barack Obama.

Obama, a well know Kenyan draft dodger, and Freemason, was elected President after the Amish made a with deal him to fix the election results in the swing state of Pennsylvania. Obama agreed, and forced airlines to charge fees for pillows and Diet Coke.

Americans responded by staying home, and watching television.

Not to be deterred, the Amish struck out at last remaining "icon" of non-buggy driving soap salesmen, and poisoned Billy May's Mai Thai, with Polonium-210.

And that- is how it happened.

JC

[Dragonpaco]

Originally Posted by askmrjesus

It went down like this:

In 1784, Karl Theodor, (the ruler of Bavaria) outlawed the Illuminati, and kicked them out of Germany. The Illuminati banded together with the Freemasons and the Society for the preservation of Midget Hermaphrodites, and they all moved to Pennsylvania.

In 1908, Henry Ford invented the Model T. Ford, (who was a closet Hermaphrodite, yet quite tall for a midget) had a falling out with Thomas Edison, while working for Edison Illuminating Company, and split off from the Illuminati after Edison exclaimed that Ford's son Edsel, was quite possibly the ugliest baby ever born. Edison, whose "Illuminating" company was a front for the now Amish based Illuminati, held a meeting with the Amish's Buggy Whip consortium, and vowed revenge.

Several decades passed. The "Horseless Carriage" became immensely popular, and the Amish became more and more depressed. They began to set their sights on flight travel, but despite several attempts to scare the residents of the Pennsylvanian country side with Black Helicopters made with old buggy parts and Briggs & Stratton engines, they languished in relative obscurity, until Dick Cheney became Vice President in 2000.

Cheney, who was a French Jew by birth, contacted the sole living elder of the Buggy Whip consortium with a proposition. If the Amish could blow up a large American landmark with an airplane, his shares of stock in Haliburton would skyrocket, and the revenue could be used to refinance the reemergence of the New World Order. A plan was hatched, to disguise Amish teenagers as Muslim terrorists, and crash Zionist Boeing 767's into the World Trade Center.

As plans went, this one was rather one sided. Cheney reneged on his promise to fund the New World Order, and shot the sole surviving elder in the face with a shotgun.

The Amish were now completely devastated.

Enter one Barack Obama.

Obama, a well know Kenyan draft dodger, and Freemason, was elected President after the Amish made a with deal him to fix the election results in the swing state of Pennsylvania. Obama agreed, and forced airlines to charge fees for pillows and Diet Coke.

Americans responded by staying home, and watching television.

Not to be deterred, the Amish struck out at last remaining "icon" of non-buggy driving soap salesmen, and poisoned Billy May's Mai Thai, with Polonium-210.

And that- is how it happened.

JC

that was so long it MUST be true!

[HurricaneHeather]

OMG!

That really is the explaination I was hoping for. I knew it must have been Cheney and the Amish. It makes perfect sense.

[EpyonXero]

Originally Posted by askmrjesus

As plans went, this one was rather one sided. Cheney reneged on his promise to fund the New World Order, and shot the sole surviving elder in the face with a shotgun.

[Particle Man]

Yep. We're all fucked.

That means, HH, that you need to go home, strip naked, and take a bath in a tub full of Jell-O.

And post pictures.

[Librarian]

I knew it all along! You go riding your bike along those back roads in Penn and what do you see? Carriages, drawn by horses of course. And geese. Lots of geese. They're in the fields, in the ponds, in the air above the carriages. Yet you never see goose-splat on an Amish carriage do you? No! Proof positive, as if you needed it, that the geese are in league with the Amish. Which only goes to prove that the geese that gave their lives trying to down that plane in New York were actually subversive Amish agents on a suicide mission!

[derf]

Originally Posted by Particle Man

Yep. We're all fucked.

That means, HH, that you need to go home, strip naked, and take a bath in a tub full of Jell-O.

And post pictures.

Hells yeh! and you can do all that while cooking naked in the kitchen on your way to being pregnant

[HurricaneHeather]

Originally Posted by Particle Man

Yep. We're all fucked.

That means, HH, that you need to go home, strip naked, and take a bath in a tub full of Jell-O.

And post pictures.

Sending the boy to the groceria to buy jello now.