Jesus is now BANNED from the Carwash...

askmrjesus · 01-14-2010, 03:16 PM

The weather has been shit lately, so I decided to go down to the Coin-op, and wash the salt off my truck today.

They have a sign hanging in the bay, that says NO TRUCK BED WASHING in big red letters. I've seen that sign before, and I've always ignored it. It's not like I'm dumping plutonium. I just have a couple hand fulls of leaves back there, and that shit has to go.

So I start washing out the back of my truck like I always do, and some punk-ass, zit-faced kid appears out of nowhere and starts yelling at me.

"Hey! You can't do that!"

"Excuse me?"

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

"It's a hand full of leaves, stop having kittens".

"I SAID, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

(At this point, I'm getting just a little bit pissed.)

"Kid, I think it's about time you started thinking about getting out of my face."

"YEAH? OR WHAT ASSHOLE?"

Now, ordinarily, I'm a pretty even tempered guy, but this shit had gone on long enough, and did that little fucknugget just call me an asshole? Yes, I believe he did. So I thought about it for about a tenth of a second, and I said, "Or this".

Then I shot him in the face with the spray gun. (High Pressure, soapy setting)

He looked fairly stunned, but the kid obviously had some kind of learning disability, because after I stopped spraying him, he proceeded to begin to cuss me out again. He only made it to "YOU SON OF A" when I sprayed him again. I kept spraying him until he ran away yelling something about the cops, and I ran out of hose.

I considered leaving, what with the cops coming and all, but I still had seven minutes worth of quarters in the machine, and my truck was still soapy, so I stayed and finished up.

I was pulling my mats off the wall, when the cops rolled up.

The kid comes running back up yelling, "That's him! That's him!".

I would have shot him again, but I was out of quarters.

"Did you spray this boy?" asks the cop.

"Yes sir. Twice."

"Why did you do that?"

"He called me asshole sir, and if I remember right, those are fighting words. He's just lucky I'm too cheap to spring for the hot wax".

The cop laughed, and after a few minutes of the usual blah,blah, blah, he let me go.

JC

CasterTroy · 01-14-2010, 03:18 PM

priceless....as I was reading that I started to say "I hope you sprayed his ass...and then

BAM

In yo face biache....or wait...cunt

funny

Dave · 01-14-2010, 03:19 PM

win

azoomm · 01-14-2010, 03:22 PM

Dammit... no video.

smileyman · 01-14-2010, 04:03 PM

Just when i thought you couldnt sink lower, that maybe you had demostrated the worst possible character...you something like this...

And COMPLETELY redeem yourself!!!

marko138 · 01-14-2010, 04:02 PM

Fucking awesome. As I was reading I hoped you were going there...and you did. Excellent!

Particle Man · 01-14-2010, 04:08 PM

out-freakin'-standing

Rider · 01-14-2010, 04:09 PM

Jesus - 1, cry baby - 0

Particle Man · 01-14-2010, 04:12 PM

see, if more of us lived closer to you, we could all go (one at a time) and do the same thing

tommymac · 01-14-2010, 04:16 PM

great job, thats even better than smiting him

01-14-2010, 03:16 PM	#1
askmrjesus Soul Man Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Everywhere, all the time. Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit). Posts: 6,481	Jesus is now BANNED from the Carwash... The weather has been shit lately, so I decided to go down to the Coin-op, and wash the salt off my truck today. They have a sign hanging in the bay, that says NO TRUCK BED WASHING in big red letters. I've seen that sign before, and I've always ignored it. It's not like I'm dumping plutonium. I just have a couple hand fulls of leaves back there, and that shit has to go. So I start washing out the back of my truck like I always do, and some punk-ass, zit-faced kid appears out of nowhere and starts yelling at me. "Hey! You can't do that!" "Excuse me?" "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" "It's a hand full of leaves, stop having kittens". "I SAID, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" (At this point, I'm getting just a little bit pissed.) "Kid, I think it's about time you started thinking about getting out of my face." "YEAH? OR WHAT ASSHOLE?" Now, ordinarily, I'm a pretty even tempered guy, but this shit had gone on long enough, and did that little fucknugget just call me an asshole? Yes, I believe he did. So I thought about it for about a tenth of a second, and I said, "Or this". Then I shot him in the face with the spray gun. (High Pressure, soapy setting) He looked fairly stunned, but the kid obviously had some kind of learning disability, because after I stopped spraying him, he proceeded to begin to cuss me out again. He only made it to "YOU SON OF A" when I sprayed him again. I kept spraying him until he ran away yelling something about the cops, and I ran out of hose. I considered leaving, what with the cops coming and all, but I still had seven minutes worth of quarters in the machine, and my truck was still soapy, so I stayed and finished up. I was pulling my mats off the wall, when the cops rolled up. The kid comes running back up yelling, "That's him! That's him!". I would have shot him again, but I was out of quarters. "Did you spray this boy?" asks the cop. "Yes sir. Twice." "Why did you do that?" "He called me asshole sir, and if I remember right, those are fighting words. He's just lucky I'm too cheap to spring for the hot wax". The cop laughed, and after a few minutes of the usual blah,blah, blah, he let me go. JC __________________ The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me. Last edited by askmrjesus; 01-14-2010 at 03:29 PM..

01-14-2010, 03:18 PM	#2
CasterTroy ................ Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: NC Posts: 3,028	priceless....as I was reading that I started to say "I hope you sprayed his ass...and then BAM In yo face biache....or wait...cunt funny __________________ “Being tolerant does not mean that I share another one’s belief. But it does mean that I acknowledge another one’s right to believe, and obey, his own conscience.” Viktor Frankl

01-14-2010, 03:19 PM	#3
Dave Chaotic Neutral Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Cherry Hill NJ Moto: GV1200 Madura, Hawk gt Posts: 13,992	win __________________ TWF Post whore #6

01-14-2010, 03:22 PM	#4
azoomm moderator chick Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Hill Country TX Moto: Pasta Rockets Posts: 8,917	Dammit... no video. __________________ We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "smart"? Come Play at the Track!! http://www.elitetrackdays.com

01-14-2010, 04:03 PM	#5
smileyman White Trash Hero Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NW Arkansas Moto: Buell 1125R Porco Rosso Edition Posts: 4,895	Just when i thought you couldnt sink lower, that maybe you had demostrated the worst possible character...you something like this... And COMPLETELY redeem yourself!!! __________________ Arkriders.com To be the best you must first be willing to risk the worst!

01-14-2010, 04:08 PM	#7
Particle Man Custom User Title Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Central NY Moto: 2003 SV650S Posts: 14,959	out-freakin'-standing __________________ I'm not "fat." I'm "Enlarged to show texture." Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away.

01-14-2010, 04:09 PM	#8
Rider Moto GP Star Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 12,156	Jesus - 1, cry baby - 0

01-14-2010, 04:12 PM	#9
Particle Man Custom User Title Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Central NY Moto: 2003 SV650S Posts: 14,959	see, if more of us lived closer to you, we could all go (one at a time) and do the same thing __________________ I'm not "fat." I'm "Enlarged to show texture." Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away.

01-14-2010, 04:16 PM	#10
tommymac Moto GP Star Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 11,022	great job, thats even better than smiting him