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Old 09-19-2011, 06:30 PM   #1
fatbuckRTO
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Default my thread o' hate: hate harder

From the forum that must not be named:
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I will post things that I hate, thus relieving the intense pressure in the back of my head driving me to scream to everyone how I hate these things. You are welcome to join me, or disagree with me, but you'll likely get no argument from me. I hate these things and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

First and foremost:

For being famous for no reason and in headlines and therefore forcing me to know who you are; Anna Nicole Smith (also for dying but still somehow monopolizing headlines), the Dixie Chicks, Paris Hilton, and Rosie Odonnel.

Also, Texas drivers. I always know when I cross the border into Texas because at least three people immediately try to run me off the road.

NMCI. I hate this network and everyone even remotely associated with it. I could string together a better system with fishing line and a couple dozen coffee cans. If you made money in any capacity from NMCI, other than being one of those unfortunate enough to be forced to use it, you deserve to die a thousand horrible bloody-and-burning-and-drowning-all-at-the-same-time deaths.
I need this again. It just so happens that my immediate object of hatred was one of the originals: Texas drivers. What I hate even more is that, from time to time, I see myself becoming one. They're like the Borg. Loud, annoying, usually distracted, poorly-coordinated Borg. With hats.
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Old 09-19-2011, 06:39 PM   #2
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When I lived in New York, I thought it was New York drivers. When I lived in Texas, I thought it was Texas drivers. In Florida, I think it's Florida drivers. But it's not. It's everyone. We are getting horrendously worse as a whole. Piss poor drivers ed, retardedly easy driving tests, cell phones, tvs, food, and any other distraction that can be crammed into a car. I'm a better rider than a driver just because of the lack of distractions. It ain't just Texas. It's America.
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Old 09-20-2011, 08:32 AM   #3
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When I lived in New York, I thought it was New York drivers. When I lived in Texas, I thought it was Texas drivers. In Florida, I think it's Florida drivers. But it's not. It's everyone.
I don't think Texas drivers are the worst. I just hate them. I wasn't living in Texas the first time I wrote this, I was living in Louisiana. And Louisiana has some real pieces of work on the road, to be sure.

Actually, in my opinion the worst are Atlanta drivers. With Birmingham a very close second. It's not just the size of the cities, either, because I've lived in New Orleans and done quite a bit of driving in and around San Diego. And Hawaii was just a downright pleasant driving experience (except for the tourists, who you could usually see coming in their rented rag-top Mustangs). But in Atlanta and Birmingham, you'd swear that you had deflowered the sister of every dillweed on the road, because those bastards come after you with a grudge.

But Texas drivers, I have to deal with them every day now, so I hate them. I hate the roads too. They seem to have been engineered by a drunken crack-baby monkey drawing out streets with a half a piece of chalk and bits of feces.
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Old 09-21-2011, 06:30 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by fatbuckRTO View Post
I don't think Texas drivers are the worst. I just hate them. I wasn't living in Texas the first time I wrote this, I was living in Louisiana. And Louisiana has some real pieces of work on the road, to be sure.

Actually, in my opinion the worst are Atlanta drivers. With Birmingham a very close second. It's not just the size of the cities, either, because I've lived in New Orleans and done quite a bit of driving in and around San Diego. And Hawaii was just a downright pleasant driving experience (except for the tourists, who you could usually see coming in their rented rag-top Mustangs). But in Atlanta and Birmingham, you'd swear that you had deflowered the sister of every dillweed on the road, because those bastards come after you with a grudge.

But Texas drivers, I have to deal with them every day now, so I hate them. I hate the roads too. They seem to have been engineered by a drunken crack-baby monkey drawing out streets with a half a piece of chalk and bits of feces.
I have driven in both Birmingham and Atlanta, during rush hour. You, Sir, do not want to visit Toronto. At least not if you plan on doing your own driving.
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Old 09-21-2011, 08:38 PM   #5
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You, Sir, do not want to visit Toronto. At least not if you plan on doing your own driving.
You are correct sir.

I'd rather see the Canadian wilderness anyway.
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Old 09-21-2011, 08:47 PM   #6
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You are correct sir.

I'd rather see the Canadian wilderness anyway.
Good plan. But fly into Toronto, just to see what the women in the most culturally diverse city in the world look like, then catch a connection to Banff
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Old 09-19-2011, 06:47 PM   #7
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They're like the Borg. Loud, annoying, usually distracted, poorly-coordinated Borg. With hats.
I have a few criteria that I use to quickly assess other drivers on the road for dangerous potential when approaching them, for my own safety. These are the "warning signs" that usually indicate a bad driver:

Hat
Cigar/Pipe
Oriental
Volvo
Jesus bumper sticker

Clearly, if you should ever approach what appears to be an Oriental driver, in a Volvo sporting a Jesus bumpersticker, wearing a hat, and smoking...GIVE THE MOTHERFUCKER ROOM.
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Old 09-19-2011, 07:13 PM   #8
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These are the "warning signs" that usually indicate a bad driver:

New Jersey tag.
Fixd.

JC
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Old 09-19-2011, 08:40 PM   #9
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HANDICAP TAGS
added in caps above.

More often than not, I'm convinced that the handicap in question is a complete inability to drive AND a total and absolute lack of the ability to fucking PARK.

Is driving and parking like a complete idiot a handicap? Apparently so.
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Old 09-19-2011, 09:38 PM   #10
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These are the "warning signs" that usually indicate a bad driver:

Hat
Cigar/Pipe
Oriental
Volvo
Jesus bumper sticker
You forgot woman
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