Go Back   Two Wheel Fix > General > Off Topic

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-07-2012, 06:17 PM   #1
askmrjesus
Soul Man
 
askmrjesus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Everywhere, all the time.
Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit).
Posts: 6,481
Default And just like that, it was gone!

It took me a while.

Damn near a year in fact.

My wife has chickens. It wasn't my idea. I just came home one day and there were chickens all over the fucking place.

So, I did the husband thing and built a house for them. A "coop" I'm told is what they call them.

Great eggs. One problem.

One of those chickens is not a chicken at all. It's a rooster. One of those fancy, city-girl roosters, with the crazy feathers and shit. Noisy fucker. Early riser, and it crows all fucking day.

Put it on Craigslist, I say.

Find a home for it, I say

Let's just eat it, I say.

But no. My polite asking turned to pleading, and then to begging.

Then this morning, a new plan was hatched...

The wife just got a new (used) F650 BMW. It needs some work.

"Sorry, I'm on strike".

"What?"

"I'm not turning anymore wrenches on any of your bikes, until the rooster is gone".

Just got a call. Rooster is getting picked up in 15 minutes.

Sleeping in tomorrow, if she doesn't kill me in my sleep first.

JC
__________________
The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.
askmrjesus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2012, 06:20 PM   #2
Trip
Hold mah beer!
 
Trip's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 80 Miles South of Moto Heaven
Moto: 08 R1200GS
Posts: 23,268
Default

Lol, awesome plan

I would of already turned it into jerk chicken and fed it to the wife before I told her what I did.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by ebbs15 View Post
according to the article tell him to drink ginger tea...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigger
Whatever,Stoner is a bitch! O.J. Simpson has TWO fucked knees and a severe hang nail on his left index finger but he still managed to kill two younger adults,sprint 200 feet to his car (wearing very expensive,yet uncomfortable Italian shoes) and make his get a way!!!
Trip is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2012, 06:25 PM   #3
askmrjesus
Soul Man
 
askmrjesus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Everywhere, all the time.
Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit).
Posts: 6,481
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trip View Post
Lol, awesome plan

I would of already turned it into jerk chicken and fed it to the wife before I told her what I did.
You have no idea how many times I came close to blowing that thing's head off.

JC
__________________
The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.
askmrjesus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2012, 09:17 PM   #4
wildchild
cruiser
 
wildchild's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: on the run
Moto: '09 HD superglide, 16 Yamaha FZ 09
Posts: 2,749
Default

g/f had chickens up north. 4 of them wound up being roosters. not only were they loud, they did not like me in the coop that i built for them at all. I was so glad when they were gone. her's were huge fucking things with serious spikes on them. i didn't miss them at all.

bad part is once the roosters are gone the s start coming around. hint, shoot the before you have to console wife, after her finding just legs and feet of a chicken. not sure why but s leave the legs when they eat a bird.
wildchild is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2012, 09:18 PM   #5
wildchild
cruiser
 
wildchild's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: on the run
Moto: '09 HD superglide, 16 Yamaha FZ 09
Posts: 2,749
Default

forgot about those graphics, funny as hell when you don't expect it. LOL
wildchild is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2012, 10:45 PM   #6
Rangerscott
Viff6N Mutated Warrior
 
Rangerscott's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Texas
Moto: '01 Honda VFR 800 & '09 ER-6N
Posts: 8,704
Default

My dad got rid of his chickens and roosters by putting an ad in the thrifty nickel. One of the biggest mistakes in his life. He got rid of them with the first caller and had literally more than 50 calls from different people for the 1 week the ad ran.

So if you just want to sale something fast. Make sure it's chickens.
Rangerscott is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2012, 05:53 AM   #7
Adeptus_Minor
Hopster
 
Adeptus_Minor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Austin, TX
Moto: 2009 Buell 1125R
Posts: 4,743
Default

Should have gone with guinea fowl.
They're great egg producers, and they don't crow.
Not to say they're exactly quiet... they'll certainly let you know if a predator comes around.
__________________
“Well, obviously before; after was all gendarmes and dick stitches.”
Adeptus_Minor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2012, 09:47 AM   #8
VatorMan
Wrap Yo Ass in Fiberglass
 
VatorMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Moto: Feet
Posts: 1,605
Default

So you begged your wife to give her cock away. Something dirty about that.
VatorMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2012, 11:00 AM   #9
Particle Man
Custom User Title
 
Particle Man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Central NY
Moto: 2003 SV650S
Posts: 14,959
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by VatorMan View Post
So you begged your wife to give her cock away. Something dirty about that.
Ahahahahahahaha Awesome.

And JC:
Attached Images
File Type: jpg goodjob.jpg (31.6 KB, 51 views)
__________________
I'm not "fat."
I'm "Enlarged to show texture."


Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away.
Particle Man is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2012, 11:04 AM   #10
tommymac
Moto GP Star
 
tommymac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 11,022
Default

its on its way to a chick fil a
tommymac is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:21 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.