A lil bit of Georgia redneck humor

[neebelung]

Shamlessly stolen from our local board:

June 2002, Georgia: An EMT in southern Georgia was part of the
unit that responded to a call from Coffee County late one night.
They arrived on the scene and found a severely injured man lying
at the edge of a field. His stomach had been completely torn
open, and he was covered with lacerations and bruises. He also
had a prominent tire tread across his chest.

The injured man's companion showed up in a racing model ATV
vehicle, clearly intoxicated, and gave the following account.
Imagine this tale being recited in a deep Georgian accent:

He and his injured friend had been drinkin' and ridin' around the
field on the three-wheeled ATV, when they sighted a stand of deer
in their headlights. The friend, riding the back as a passenger,
was struck with a great idea. "Hey man," he said, "If you quarter
off one a those deer, betcha I can bulldog 'im." The driver
thought this was an entertaining idea, so he proceeded to isolate
a buck and race him down.

His intoxicated passenger proceeded to leap from the ATV, grab
the buck by the antlers, and perform an excellent example of this
rodeo sport. He pinned the animal's head to the ground, but
that's when things went wrong.

The buck, less docile than a steer, simply got up, threw his head back, and tore his assailant's belly open. The deer then proceeded to stomp, kick,
and butt him for good measure.

The EMTs noticed that this information accounted all of the injuries except one. When they asked the driver about the tire track across his injured friend's chest, he responded: "Well how else was I s'posed to git the deer off 'im?"