Rules for female passengers

[Rider]

Rules for female passengers.......

1. If you have no bike but just happen to have your own helmet in your car we know you're playing us for a ride.

2. If you're going to go for a ride, go with the nicest bike, he's the one who is least likely to crash and kill you. If he has a nice bike he's probably been ridding a while. If you go with a tool who has a 86 ninja 250 we are all going to laugh at you. Plus use your head if his bike looks broke then so is he DUHHH!

3. If the bike is a "Stunt bike" or rashed up all over reconsider there is a reason its rashed up.

4. If you're FAT! Save yourself some embarrassment and save us the aggravation of trying to tell you no with out saying cuz "YOU'RE FAT BITCH!!!! We can only be sooo nice. Use your head.

5. If your friend is ugly or FAT (See rule 4) it is not my responsibility to get someone to take her.

6. If you have on a skirt then YES!!! We have to go first. No one else knows how to get where we are going(Right guys?)

7. Showing your nice tits will get you selected first for a bike ride.

8. STOP!!!!! fucking bashing your Pep-Boys helmet into the back of my $600 custom helmet..thank you!

9. Move back and stick your ass out, you're squishing my nuts.

10. Stop scratching my tank with your fake J-Lo ring set.

11. Yes it is too possible to jerk me off while I'm riding my bike, rubbing gently works too... (Note: This will also ensure you another bike ride anytime).

12. It is customary to pay for motorcycle rides with oral sex. (NOTE: If your skills aren't up to par it is definitely ok to have a girlfriend of yours assist you. Team work is what it's all about.

13. We know when a girl likes the bike and not us. If every time we call it's always the same SHIT, can we go on the bike. NO!!!!.... It's fucking March bitch.

14. Don't lean, this bike has one driver and it's me. So sit there and relax.

15. No you're not going to "GO FLYING RIGHT OFF" (Unless you piss me off then it's a possibility.)

16. Yes I'm going to go fast... stop being a bitch.

17. Yes I just adjusted my mirrors to see your tits.

18. When we stop at a gas station, you are not guaranteed a return trip. Know your role and maybe you get dropped off close to where you were found.