Thunder in the *YAWN* Valley

[Phenix_Rider]

Only good part of the whole weekend in Johnstown is the demo rides. Got there at 8:45, signed up for the Yamaha rides- R1 and V-Max! Went over to the Suzuki tent in between rides and signed up for the Gladius and Bandit.

Went out first thing on the new R1. Very frustrating ride- Little Elmer Fudd type was leading on an FJR. Never got past 65 mph- so really second gear Sounds good, riding position sucks. More linear power than the last gen. Everything else is usual R1. It wants to do 180 down the front stretch, then slam down through the gears into turn 1. Slam being the wrong word of course, Yammis have the best transmissions.

The V-Max is a brute. Just a big mean stoplight/dragstrip bruiser. It doesn't do anything smooth. Not on/off throttle, not turn, not stop. You're either accelerating madly, or being thrown over the bars from engine braking. Crazy fucking bike jerked the hell out of my arms and neck. Not a bike for group rides- station keeping is impossible.

The Gladius looks goofy with all the tacky plastic. The advertising is queer as hell. The bike... is fun! It feels lighter than the SV, doesn't vibrate as much, steers lighter, but has the same suspension with worse brakes. Needs new pads and lines at the bare minimum. Somehow the transmission feels smoother than any other zook. Even managed to find neutral easy. The seat is a nightmare! It has some kind of seams under the cover that dig into your ass. fter the ride, I spoke to guy riding the other one- we were both grinning ear to ear. It's meant for little people, but we were both 6'+ and were reasonably comfortable. Perfect little commuter toy. After the 650R of course. And I would have to strip all the cheesy plastic and lose the mirrors. It wouldn't look at all like a gaydius if I rode it.

The Bandit 1200 is great. The sort of bike you can ride cross country, then drag knee all weekend. Incredibly smooth engine, but it has the weird suzuki transmission thing. Riding position isn't too upright, and it's definitely not a torture rack. The top two gears feel like overdirve- 3,000 RPMs at 70mph in 6th. I kept thinking I was in top gear and still had two left! It will drop way down in revs and still pick up cleanly. It never bogs the engine. Brakes and suspension need some small improvement, but not nearly as much as the gladius.

Met up with a couple local riders after I was done riding. Checked out some bikes in the demo area, then we wandered downtown. Nothing really impressive, and lots of morons- pirates and squid alike.

BLUB, BLUB, BLUB "Look, I'm a moron!"
VRMM, VRMM, VRMM "No I'm a moron"
BRBBB RBBR RRBBB "But I have a smaller dick!"
ZNNG ZNNG ZNNG "I have smaller balls"
RING DING DING revlimiter
BRABB BRABB RBRABB revlimiter

That shit gives me a headache, and I was embarassed to be on a sportbike as I was leaving. Did my impression of the STIG. Closed my mirrored shield, stared straight ahead, and beat a hasty retreat off the main moron grounds onto a side road.

Of course, I got nailed by an tan unmarked car turning off 56 for 219... I had a headache, and desperately needed some air to cool off. Was doing about 80-85 indicated in a 55. Yeah, I know- stupid move. He didn't light me up until I moved off the seat to lean into the exit ramp without braking. Apparently being a fool in town is permitted, but showing a little skill on the way out is not... Pulled off, shut down, took of the helmet and gloves and stayed on the bike.

First thing he says "Couldn't hold it back could you"
"I was trying to get away from the craziness downtown"
*"You been drinking?"
"NO"
*"You sure?"
"Yes Sir"
*"Is it registered in your name"
"Yes Sir"
We got through the drill- license, back to the cruiser, check the computer, etc. Finally he comes back
*"I'm not going to ruin your weekend. Slow it down"
"Okay"
*"You promise?"
"Yes Sir"
And I'm on my way... taking the bike for it's first slow easy walk in a long time.