Tiger Woods joke

'73 H1 Triple · 11-29-2009, 11:45 PM

Q: What is the similarity between Tiger Woods and baby seals?

.

.

A: They both get clubbed by Norwegians.

Homeslice · 11-30-2009, 01:58 AM

lol.........cheater

Particle Man · 11-30-2009, 10:20 AM

z06boy · 11-30-2009, 10:22 AM

Rider · 11-30-2009, 10:28 AM

So what's the real story? I heard he was in an accident but that's all I know, I don't watch the news.

RACER X · 11-30-2009, 10:31 AM

lol

dang! chic who he's supposed to be cheating w/

""Tiger Woods Seriously Injured in Car Crash,” read early headlines from a number of seemingly reputable sources on Friday morning, including the Associated Press. Immediately, well-wishers flooded blogs and twitter feeds on the Internet, hoping that the golf star’s injuries weren’t life threatening.

At approximately 3:30pm ET, Woods’ publicist quelled all concern over his physical condition with an official statement from Woods’ office and Health Central Hospital: “Tiger Woods was in a minor car accident outside his home last night. He was admitted, treated and released today in good condition. We appreciate very much everyone's thoughts and well wishes.” Soon thereafter, the Mayor of Windermere, FL, reported that Woods was treated for facial lacerations stemming from the car accident. Air bags didn’t deploy within the vehicle because Woods was traveling under 30mph.

By 5:00pm ET, TMZ.com had begun its guerilla-style investigation, obtaining information from a neighbor stating that with the exception of a few scratches, Woods looked “fine.”

Just one hour later, evening news stations and reliable print media outlets, stemming from an article by Doug Ferguson and others at the Associated Press, reported that Tiger’s wife of six years, Swedish model Elin Nordegren, told investigators that she heard the car crash outside and rushed to her husband’s aid, smashing a golf club through the back window of his SUV to help him crawl out. The information was obtained from Windermere, FL Police Chief Daniel Saylor. ''She was frantic, upset,'' Saylor said in a briefing Friday night, according to the AP story. ''It was her husband laying on the ground.'' Saylor also stated that Woods was in and out of consciousness and mumbling incoherent statements.

But just ten minutes later, multiple Florida law enforcement officials told TMZ that both Nordegren and Woods admitted to having had a domestic dispute shortly before the accident. When authorities came to the couples’ home to conduct interviews, they were turned away by Nordegren, who claimed Woods was “sleeping.” They were instructed to come back the next day.

The story didn’t quite add up at this point. How could Woods have been injured so that he was unconscious in a car that was traveling under 30mph? Was he not wearing a seat belt? Furthermore, how did he get the lacerations around his mouth – was it from a shattered windshield? Could a “minor car crash” have caused Woods to get so stuck inside the car that the only way to safety was through the back window?

The digital rumor mill churned yet again, as bloggers wondered if there was a connection between the domestic dispute and Woods’ alleged affair with socialite Rachel Uchitel. Allegations of Woods' infidelity broke in the National Enquirer on November 25. The story was peppered with quotes from Uchitel’s friends about the torrid affair that started in June. Woods allegedly met Uchitel at a party in New York, and according to the Enquirer, she joined him on his recent trip to Australia, “sexted” with him on multiple occasions, and was eerily blasé when relaying details to friends about breaking up Woods’ young family.

According to the AP story, Uchitel denied having an affair with Woods when contacted by the Associated Press. "I resent my reputation is getting completely blasted in the media," she said. "Everyone is assuming I came out and said this. This is not a story I have anything to do with." She acknowledged that she was in Melbourne, Australia two weeks ago (when Woods was playing in the JBWere Masters) but claimed she was with clients and didn't see Woods the entire time she was there.

TMZ.com was the first to break the news at 12:08 ET on Saturday morning that Nordegren, contrary to earlier reports, had used the golf club to smash the moving vehicle while in a rage, causing Woods to become disoriented enough to crash the car. TMZ also claimed that the lacerations to Woods’ face were inflicted by Nordegren during the domestic dispute, and that Nordegren chased after Woods with the golf club when he attempted to escape in his SUV.

TMZ.com was once considered to be just a bogus gossip site, but ever since they were the first to report the death of

, their reputation has risen considerably as a credible news source.

Of course, until we hear it directly from Woods or Nordegren, all of these reports are mere speculation. We live in an era where the ethical news sources of yesteryear are now being forced to report rumors in order to keep up with the seemingly less ethical news sources of today, such as gossip sites and blogs. Clearly, the code of ethics in journalism (a term that may also be outdated) is under rapid assault.

Details will undoubtedly continue to emerge regarding Woods’ crash, the domestic dispute with his wife, and the allegations of infidelity. Perhaps in the end, TMZ.com’s latest report will too be proved fictitious, only to be forgotten when juicier details come along.

We may never know the whole truth about what happened last night between Woods and his wife, but one thing is for sure: no matter how many trophies Woods hoists between now and the end of his career, his once near-perfect reputation has been tarnished. ""

z06boy · 11-30-2009, 10:45 AM

Pulling out of the driveway at 2:45 or so a.m. and you hit a fire hydrant and a tree and no alcohol was involved ? He was unconscience for several minutes with cuts to his face ? Refusing to talk to the police ? Oh Tiger...hadn't you heard..."hell hath no fury like a scorned woman" !!

Sounds like the wife was administering an azz whooping !!

When you're young and have his $$$ I guess you can do most anything you want if you can at least manage to not get killed.

Homeslice · 11-30-2009, 10:53 AM

Eh, kind of a one-bagger.......but yeah I'd hit it

Rider · 11-30-2009, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homeslice

Eh, kind of a one-bagger.......but yeah I'd hit it

Yeah she has a great body but that gold eye shadow makes me want to give her Irish sunglasses.

Riceaholic · 11-30-2009, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rider

Yeah she has a great body but that gold eye shadow makes me want to give her Irish sunglasses.

11-29-2009, 11:45 PM	#1
'73 H1 Triple restorer of the original Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Zionsville,PA Moto: '93 ZR1100 &'73 Kawasaki H1 500 Posts: 1,331	Tiger Woods joke Q: What is the similarity between Tiger Woods and baby seals? . . A: They both get clubbed by Norwegians.

11-30-2009, 10:20 AM	#3
Particle Man Custom User Title Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Central NY Moto: 2003 SV650S Posts: 14,959	__________________ I'm not "fat." I'm "Enlarged to show texture." Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away.

11-30-2009, 10:31 AM	#6
RACER X AMA Supersport Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Richmond, Tx Moto: '10 Tuono Factory Posts: 4,569	lol dang! chic who he's supposed to be cheating w/ ""Tiger Woods Seriously Injured in Car Crash,” read early headlines from a number of seemingly reputable sources on Friday morning, including the Associated Press. Immediately, well-wishers flooded blogs and twitter feeds on the Internet, hoping that the golf star’s injuries weren’t life threatening. At approximately 3:30pm ET, Woods’ publicist quelled all concern over his physical condition with an official statement from Woods’ office and Health Central Hospital: “Tiger Woods was in a minor car accident outside his home last night. He was admitted, treated and released today in good condition. We appreciate very much everyone's thoughts and well wishes.” Soon thereafter, the Mayor of Windermere, FL, reported that Woods was treated for facial lacerations stemming from the car accident. Air bags didn’t deploy within the vehicle because Woods was traveling under 30mph. By 5:00pm ET, TMZ.com had begun its guerilla-style investigation, obtaining information from a neighbor stating that with the exception of a few scratches, Woods looked “fine.” Just one hour later, evening news stations and reliable print media outlets, stemming from an article by Doug Ferguson and others at the Associated Press, reported that Tiger’s wife of six years, Swedish model Elin Nordegren, told investigators that she heard the car crash outside and rushed to her husband’s aid, smashing a golf club through the back window of his SUV to help him crawl out. The information was obtained from Windermere, FL Police Chief Daniel Saylor. ''She was frantic, upset,'' Saylor said in a briefing Friday night, according to the AP story. ''It was her husband laying on the ground.'' Saylor also stated that Woods was in and out of consciousness and mumbling incoherent statements. But just ten minutes later, multiple Florida law enforcement officials told TMZ that both Nordegren and Woods admitted to having had a domestic dispute shortly before the accident. When authorities came to the couples’ home to conduct interviews, they were turned away by Nordegren, who claimed Woods was “sleeping.” They were instructed to come back the next day. The story didn’t quite add up at this point. How could Woods have been injured so that he was unconscious in a car that was traveling under 30mph? Was he not wearing a seat belt? Furthermore, how did he get the lacerations around his mouth – was it from a shattered windshield? Could a “minor car crash” have caused Woods to get so stuck inside the car that the only way to safety was through the back window? The digital rumor mill churned yet again, as bloggers wondered if there was a connection between the domestic dispute and Woods’ alleged affair with socialite Rachel Uchitel. Allegations of Woods' infidelity broke in the National Enquirer on November 25. The story was peppered with quotes from Uchitel’s friends about the torrid affair that started in June. Woods allegedly met Uchitel at a party in New York, and according to the Enquirer, she joined him on his recent trip to Australia, “sexted” with him on multiple occasions, and was eerily blasé when relaying details to friends about breaking up Woods’ young family. According to the AP story, Uchitel denied having an affair with Woods when contacted by the Associated Press. "I resent my reputation is getting completely blasted in the media," she said. "Everyone is assuming I came out and said this. This is not a story I have anything to do with." She acknowledged that she was in Melbourne, Australia two weeks ago (when Woods was playing in the JBWere Masters) but claimed she was with clients and didn't see Woods the entire time she was there. TMZ.com was the first to break the news at 12:08 ET on Saturday morning that Nordegren, contrary to earlier reports, had used the golf club to smash the moving vehicle while in a rage, causing Woods to become disoriented enough to crash the car. TMZ also claimed that the lacerations to Woods’ face were inflicted by Nordegren during the domestic dispute, and that Nordegren chased after Woods with the golf club when he attempted to escape in his SUV. TMZ.com was once considered to be just a bogus gossip site, but ever since they were the first to report the death of , their reputation has risen considerably as a credible news source. Of course, until we hear it directly from Woods or Nordegren, all of these reports are mere speculation. We live in an era where the ethical news sources of yesteryear are now being forced to report rumors in order to keep up with the seemingly less ethical news sources of today, such as gossip sites and blogs. Clearly, the code of ethics in journalism (a term that may also be outdated) is under rapid assault. Details will undoubtedly continue to emerge regarding Woods’ crash, the domestic dispute with his wife, and the allegations of infidelity. Perhaps in the end, TMZ.com’s latest report will too be proved fictitious, only to be forgotten when juicier details come along. We may never know the whole truth about what happened last night between Woods and his wife, but one thing is for sure: no matter how many trophies Woods hoists between now and the end of his career, his once near-perfect reputation has been tarnished. "" __________________ ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ 2014 GROM! 181cc of FURY 2010 Aprilia Tuono Factory - SOLD 2009 SFV Gladius - SOLD 2008 Hayabusa - SOLD.

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11-30-2009, 01:58 AM	#2
Homeslice Elitist Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: SF Bay Area Moto: Gix 750 Posts: 11,351	lol.........cheater

11-30-2009, 10:22 AM	#4
z06boy Letzroll Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Lake Norman area, NC Moto: 07 Red R1 & 07 Blue R6 Posts: 5,265

11-30-2009, 10:28 AM	#5
Rider Moto GP Star Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 12,156	So what's the real story? I heard he was in an accident but that's all I know, I don't watch the news.

11-30-2009, 10:45 AM	#7
z06boy Letzroll Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Lake Norman area, NC Moto: 07 Red R1 & 07 Blue R6 Posts: 5,265	Pulling out of the driveway at 2:45 or so a.m. and you hit a fire hydrant and a tree and no alcohol was involved ? He was unconscience for several minutes with cuts to his face ? Refusing to talk to the police ? Oh Tiger...hadn't you heard..."hell hath no fury like a scorned woman" !! Sounds like the wife was administering an azz whooping !! When you're young and have his $$$ I guess you can do most anything you want if you can at least manage to not get killed.

11-30-2009, 10:53 AM	#8
Homeslice Elitist Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: SF Bay Area Moto: Gix 750 Posts: 11,351	Eh, kind of a one-bagger.......but yeah I'd hit it