Dammit, Jesus - Page 3

Amorok · 05-02-2009, 09:24 PM

I've answered the door naked and wet before. I had just gotten out of the shower and they kept laying on the doorbell. So I dropped the towel and went to say hello. Tried to invite them inside and everything. Damn rude of them to run off like that. Fifteen years later and they still don't come to my parents house.

BobTheBiker · 05-02-2009, 10:46 PM

I've yet to see any religious folks here. course we're not too tolerant of em neither. I'm waitin for one to come out with my truck tire iron to tell em t git off mah lawn befo I hits em wit it.

Gas Man · 05-03-2009, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by azoomm

Gas, how do you really feel?

I don't see an attempt to pass Kool-aid as a sign of big balls.

What? I guess my beef is that I'm not talking about the bible thumpers. At least they're aren't selling something even though I have a sign that says not to solicite. I would just open the door and tell them to go fuck themselves but figure they might key the car on their way down the driveway, then I would have to pistol whip them at least in obvious replacement for what I really want to do which is shoot them where they stand old west style. But then the cops come, lawyers, courts, money money money... I just don't have time to deal with that shit so I guess I will keep an eye on this thread for more ideas beyond the naked door answer. I seriously think the jocked glock will do the trick. If not, then I could always upgrade to pump action shotgun!

Tsunami · 05-03-2009, 02:55 AM

See, I would think if you were trying to scare me off by being naked, i would just stay and start spouting bible verses.

Amorok · 05-03-2009, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tsunami

See, I would think if you were trying to scare me off by being naked, i would just stay and start spouting bible verses.

And as tiny as you are, I'd pick you up, sit down, put you in my lap, and talk about the first thing that popped up. And once again, you'd run off never to return. There's no proselytizer who can beat me, my kung fu is the best.

Tsunami · 05-03-2009, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amorok

And as tiny as you are, I'd pick you up, sit down, put you in my lap, and talk about the first thing that popped up. And once again, you'd run off never to return. There's no proselytizer who can beat me, my kung fu is the best.

ok thats where i would draw the line! If you picked me up, i would kick you and then run off

and then send you a flaming bag of poo later.

I don't like strangers touching me, which is a big reason i don't go to crowded places

(ie: subways during rush hour, chinatown, clubs, etc)

Rider · 05-04-2009, 09:59 AM

I slam the door in their face after I tell them we have no soliciting signs in our fucking neighborhood. I usually give them the devil horns too.

askmrjesus · 05-04-2009, 10:37 AM

I'm going to get in trouble with the home office for this, but here are a few of my personal favorites:

1. Open the door with a 12 Ga. in your hands, and yell, PULL!

2. Who? Jesus? Never heard of him, is he Republican?

3. Hi! Thank God you're here! My daughter just shoved a crucifix in her moo moo, and called me a cocksucker. Do you guys do exorcisms?

JC

KSGregman · 05-04-2009, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by askmrjesus

I'm going to get in trouble with the home office for this, but here are a few of my personal favorites:

2. Who? Jesus? Never heard of him, is he Republican?

JC

t-homo · 05-04-2009, 01:49 PM

A couple of my friends have a porno sitting by the dvd player just in case. Standard procedure is to throw in the porno, skip to the facial scene, then everyone in the room get naked as fast as possible. Absolutely hilarious, until they keep talking to you like nothing is wrong, then you are in a somewhat awkward situation. They are persistent fuckers around here.

05-02-2009, 09:24 PM	#21
Amorok Issukangitok Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Biloxi, MS Moto: '06 Suzuki Boulevard C50T Posts: 2,225	I've answered the door naked and wet before. I had just gotten out of the shower and they kept laying on the doorbell. So I dropped the towel and went to say hello. Tried to invite them inside and everything. Damn rude of them to run off like that. Fifteen years later and they still don't come to my parents house. __________________ What goes around comes around. Sometimes you get what's coming around, and sometimes you are what's coming around. You see what I mean?

05-04-2009, 10:37 AM	#28
askmrjesus Soul Man Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Everywhere, all the time. Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit). Posts: 6,481	I'm going to get in trouble with the home office for this, but here are a few of my personal favorites: 1. Open the door with a 12 Ga. in your hands, and yell, PULL! 2. Who? Jesus? Never heard of him, is he Republican? 3. Hi! Thank God you're here! My daughter just shoved a crucifix in her moo moo, and called me a cocksucker. Do you guys do exorcisms? JC __________________ The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.

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05-02-2009, 10:46 PM	#22
BobTheBiker too much time on my hands Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: the northern district of god damn Moto: 01 ZX6R, looking for more now. Posts: 1,802	I've yet to see any religious folks here. course we're not too tolerant of em neither. I'm waitin for one to come out with my truck tire iron to tell em t git off mah lawn befo I hits em wit it.

05-03-2009, 02:55 AM	#24
Tsunami Pug Queen Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Las Vegas, NV Moto: DR200, SV650 Posts: 2,486	See, I would think if you were trying to scare me off by being naked, i would just stay and start spouting bible verses.

05-04-2009, 09:59 AM	#27
Rider Moto GP Star Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 12,156	I slam the door in their face after I tell them we have no soliciting signs in our fucking neighborhood. I usually give them the devil horns too.

05-04-2009, 01:49 PM	#30
t-homo WSB Champion Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Springfield, MO Posts: 7,146	A couple of my friends have a porno sitting by the dvd player just in case. Standard procedure is to throw in the porno, skip to the facial scene, then everyone in the room get naked as fast as possible. Absolutely hilarious, until they keep talking to you like nothing is wrong, then you are in a somewhat awkward situation. They are persistent fuckers around here.