09-24-2010, 10:22 AM | #1 |
sunuvabytch
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 107
|
Why I'm divorced
Why I'm divorced.........
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.' I thought.... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! ' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me..' I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !' We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?' I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?' She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner..' After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, ' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.' 'Ok.' I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'. And I just sat there.... On the couch.... Naked... |
09-24-2010, 10:44 AM | #2 |
Custom User Title
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Central NY
Moto: 2003 SV650S
Posts: 14,959
|
__________________
I'm not "fat." I'm "Enlarged to show texture." Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away. |
09-24-2010, 11:00 AM | #3 |
Moto GP Star
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 12,156
|
....and that's when the fight started.
|
09-24-2010, 11:53 AM | #4 |
Designated Drinker
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: shitville
Moto: 2009 ZX6R
Posts: 1,661
|
Best one I've read in a long time
__________________
|
09-24-2010, 12:05 PM | #5 |
Letzroll
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Lake Norman area, NC
Moto: 07 Red R1 & 07 Blue R6
Posts: 5,265
|
I've heard this before but still ...talk about a good Southwest Airlines commercial..."Wanna get away" moment.
|
09-25-2010, 08:47 PM | #6 |
AMA Supersport
Join Date: Nov 2008
Moto: '04 Kawasaki ZX6RR
Posts: 3,392
|
Awesome!
|
Bookmarks |
|
|