Punishing kids

[Apoc]

Originally Posted by Kaneman

As far as taking his things away....he earns the money that pays for those things....how can I take away what he earned?

He's a kid. Earned or not, you are his parent, and you are the only law he knows. How do you take what he earned? You say, 'Im the dad, and your the kid, and you'll learn to listen to me immediately, or be very very unhappy.'

Unless he's in his mid-teens. Then you just beat him.

[Kaneman]

Originally Posted by Apoc

He's a kid. Earned or not, you are his parent, and you are the only law he knows. How do you take what he earned? You say, 'Im the dad, and your the kid, and you'll learn to listen to me immediately, or be very very unhappy.'

Unless he's in his mid-teens. Then you just beat him.

Nope, I don't take away what he earned. He may lose the right to use it within my house, but I won't steal things he paid for. I think that would be detrimental to our relationship. I liken it to when my Dad would threaten to keep me out of football practice, so I quit football. Or soccer, karate, same thing....nobody wants something held over their head.

I guess its not an issue since he doesn't misbehave. But on those oh so rare occasions when it happens, grounding/taking things away is not the way I deal with it.

[Particle Man]

He's just afraid of your thumbs.

[Apoc]

Originally Posted by Kaneman

Nope, I don't take away what he earned. He may lose the right to use it within my house, but I won't steal things he paid for. I think that would be detrimental to our relationship. I liken it to when my Dad would threaten to keep me out of football practice, so I quit football. Or soccer, karate, same thing....nobody wants something held over their head.

I guess its not an issue since he doesn't misbehave. But on those oh so rare occasions when it happens, grounding/taking things away is not the way I deal with it.

Oh, I dont think things should be permanently taken away. But wether he bought them or not, no video games in your house is more then reasonable if he's not getting good grades. You have to be a parent sometimes, even when its not the fun thing to do.

Kids need to learn that if they behave, they have fun.

[caveman]

Originally Posted by Kaneman

So you ground them and take things away as punishment in lieu of spanking right?

My problem with grounding is that its like grounding myself. If I can't let him do anything fun, then what the fuck am I supposed to do all day?

As far as taking his things away....he earns the money that pays for those things....how can I take away what he earned?

I agree to an extent. If the family has planned a trip to an amusement park or some other fun event, to take it away from the child takes it away from me or my wife as well. I have threatened to do exactly this and said that I would stay home if it came to that. Oh, and would I be pissed for missing that as I love the roller coasters and going with the family fun stuff like that. I usually get the expected behavior change just in the nick of time for redemption.
However, if we are just chillin at home, the kid will sit on the stairs looking at the wall. No toys, no TV, not one damn thing. I will still go about my buisiness as usual other than checking every now and again to make sure they are where I left them.

Originally Posted by derf

I'm sorry I just don't understand your statement, why are you punishing yourself too? Invite some friends over have a [party and make the kid sit on the couch and watch. or turn on the TV and make the kid face away from it. Just do what you normally do.

Truth. But, if I was having a party they would be nowhere near the festivities. More like laying in bed looking at the ceiling or sleeping.

[Kaneman]

Originally Posted by Apoc

Oh, I dont think things should be permanently taken away. But wether he bought them or not, no video games in your house is more then reasonable if he's not getting good grades. You have to be a parent sometimes, even when its not the fun thing to do.

Kids need to learn that if they behave, they have fun.

Most of the fun I've had in my life came from misbehaving.

No, I guess my point is that if you do it right (parenting) you don't have to punish your kid all that often anyway...if ever. I get not letting them kill zombies and stuff if they're grades are suffering and so forth, but I'm just not into the whole grounding thing. We're too active for that.