08-28-2012, 10:03 PM | #101 | |
Nomadic Tribesman
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Brampton, Canada
Moto: '09 ER-6n
Posts: 11,150
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Quote:
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"Everything's better with pirates." - Lodge, "Dorkness Rising" http://www.morallyambiguous.net/ |
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08-28-2012, 10:20 PM | #102 |
moderator chick
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Hill Country TX
Moto: Pasta Rockets
Posts: 8,917
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Wait, I want to know who likes clowns?
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08-28-2012, 10:25 PM | #103 | |
Elitist
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: SF Bay Area
Moto: Gix 750
Posts: 11,351
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08-28-2012, 10:28 PM | #104 |
Elitist
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: SF Bay Area
Moto: Gix 750
Posts: 11,351
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Lemme guess, most of them drive either a minivan, or an old POS sun-faded Volvo, Subaru, or Saab. Usually liberals or greenies too.
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08-28-2012, 10:36 PM | #105 | |
Hold mah beer!
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 80 Miles South of Moto Heaven
Moto: 08 R1200GS
Posts: 23,268
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My uncle divorced her.
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08-28-2012, 10:37 PM | #106 | |
My balls, your chin
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The desert of Az
Moto: 929, SV650, YZ250
Posts: 1,917
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Quote:
WARNING! LONG ASS STORY TO FOLLOW... We take a trip there to see the show. We get "special" tickets, so we can get there and meet some of the "performers". Guess who we get to meet? That's right, the fucking clowns. Only I didn't know they were the fucking clowns, yet. I wanted to see the goddam lions, and the girl who could put her feet over her head (the hard way). No. I get clowns. Yay! They steer away from the adults and come straight at us kids. Why? I'll tell you why. Kids are easy targets! Parents would kick their fucking asses for doing that dumb shit to them. We get in there, and instantly we are mobbed by these fuckers, honking horns, yelling, screaming, fake laughing, hugging us, throwing confetti at us; (you know, all of the worst shit you read about in the bible). Low and behold, two of those demons come over to me. A 10ft tall fucker (on stilts), and one just about my height. This little dude gets right in my face and starts that crazy laughing shit, and I take a step back. He follows me, and I am up against the side of the tent now. Fight or flight I guess. Tried the flight thing, already. Didn't work out so well. Fight time! I grab this fucker and try to choke him. No go. He grabs me, and I think "this kid is strong, like retard strong". So I decide to shove him backwards (by his face). Things I learned very quickly in that moment: 1. Clown makeup is greasy. Makes it hard to get a grip on somebody's face. 2. Little clown has a mustache. A full on goddam, 1800's bartender mustache. 3. Little clown is NOT a kid clown, but a midget clown. With full size man hands (but little sausage fingers), and everything! And now he's angry, ready to beat my 7yr old ass. 4. You can't push a midget clown down. They just pop back up. 5. Angry midget clown can still be lifted off the ground and tossed (pretty far)by my dad. Overhear the conversation between my dad and head circus guy, where my dad says the fucking clowns about 100 times. 6. Getting free tickets after was totally not worth it. 7. Getting to hear my dad tell the fucking clowns story every year when the circus comes to town doesn't help my hatred of clowns. Or midgets. But I do at least find it funny now. Don't judge me.
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08-28-2012, 10:41 PM | #107 |
My balls, your chin
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The desert of Az
Moto: 929, SV650, YZ250
Posts: 1,917
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Mini van, or a crossover, usually. Volvo's around here look to be driven by faceless people. They all look the same to me. Subaru's are either 20 something ricky racers (WRX), or butch lesbians (Forester). Don't see, or don't notice many Saabs.
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08-28-2012, 11:05 PM | #108 | |
Hopster
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Austin, TX
Moto: 2009 Buell 1125R
Posts: 4,743
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Quote:
Post of the Month, right there.
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“Well, obviously before; after was all gendarmes and dick stitches.” |
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08-28-2012, 11:31 PM | #109 | |
Hold mah beer!
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 80 Miles South of Moto Heaven
Moto: 08 R1200GS
Posts: 23,268
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Defector, that's a fucking awesome story. Your dad is my hero for playing horseshoes with the fucking midget clown.
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08-29-2012, 12:06 AM | #110 |
Ride Naked.
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Flat and Straight ND
Moto: 08 BUELL 1125R, 05 SV650S
Posts: 7,916
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I like clowns... or at least don't hate them.
On of my wife's aunts is a clown. |
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