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Old 06-16-2009, 11:51 PM   #11
BobTheBiker
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Originally Posted by askmrjesus View Post
Dude, no, you've got this shit all fucking backwards.

To be honest, and I can say this since I live with the guy, God can be a total asshole sometimes. You do NOT want him pissed off. Motherfuckers get drowned that way, turned into salt, all kinds of crazy shit.

We're having dinner with Julia Child the other night, nothing fancy, just a late supper kinda deal. Julia says, "So, God, what's up with parsley?" Next thing you know, BAM! The old man takes one of her eyes out with a chicken bone.

A fucking chicken bone! Who does that?

Crazy fucker.

JC
DUDE! your dad and me would get along GREAT! can I move in tomorrow morning? I"m a heavy drinker and have anger problems when people dont behave, he'd LOVE me. especially if I can give him people to turn to salt and shit.
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Old 06-17-2009, 07:22 AM   #12
Mr Lefty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by askmrjesus View Post
Dude, no, you've got this shit all fucking backwards.

To be honest, and I can say this since I live with the guy, God can be a total asshole sometimes. You do NOT want him pissed off. Motherfuckers get drowned that way, turned into salt, all kinds of crazy shit.

We're having dinner with Julia Child the other night, nothing fancy, just a late supper kinda deal. Julia says, "So, God, what's up with parsley?" Next thing you know, BAM! The old man takes one of her eyes out with a chicken bone.

A fucking chicken bone! Who does that?

Crazy fucker.

JC
but again... sounds like your pa can take care of himself... so it should be for idiot's sake... that he doesn't smite them...

then again... I dont' give a rats ass about idiots... so maybe... for ebbs' sake?
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Old 06-17-2009, 01:16 PM   #13
wildchild
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Originally Posted by BobTheBiker View Post
DUDE! your dad and me would get along GREAT! can I move in tomorrow morning? I"m a heavy drinker and have anger problems when people dont behave, he'd LOVE me. especially if I can give him people to turn to salt and shit.

you know you may want to reconsider that offer. after all think about where they live and what you have to do to get there. LOL you want cremation or burial?
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Old 06-17-2009, 01:36 PM   #14
LeeNetworX
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Thanks, Carolina, for the link. Keeping me entertained here.

LMAO

From Timmy Tucker to ***********@***********.org

Hey there,

I saw your ad looking for a European Scooter. Are you serious? Man up and get a real bike. I am selling a '03 Harley Davidson FXDL Low Rider. This bike will get you more bitches than you will ever get with a European Scooter. In fact, all you will probably get with a European Scooter is a bunch of metrosexuals coming out of Starbucks. If you are ready to ride a badass bike, let me know if you are interested in my Harley.

Yours truly,

Tim

From Michelle ****** to Me

Hi there,
Thanks but I'm really not looking to "man up" and therefore am rejecting your bike and therefore your pre-owned facade of "manliness." Oh, and I'm good on "bitches."

-Michelle

From Timmy Tucker to Michelle ******

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were a woman. You shouldn't be operating a motor vehicle anyway. I have some kitchen tools like pots and pans if you are interested. Let me know!

Tim

Last edited by LeeNetworX; 06-17-2009 at 01:51 PM..
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Old 06-17-2009, 01:41 PM   #15
Archren
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Originally Posted by LeeNetworX View Post
Thanks, Carolina, for the link. Keeping me entertained here.
Always happy to help. I have short-timer's disease, as today is my second to last day at work.. so I'm totally goofing off and finding all sorts of fun things on the interwebs.
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