Stalkers - Page 2

anthonyk · 01-11-2010, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karl_1052

I don't think that is the case. I think that the stalker wants the stalkee to know how much they care, so they probably want to be seen.

Yeah, that would be the "I'm feeling pretty powerless about getting dumped (or whatever), so I'm gonna create an f'ed up relationship that I get to control" mindset.

Yeah, I'm married to a psychotherapist...

TommyHotWheel · 01-11-2010, 07:24 PM

Remember..."There is no such thing...as a Hot stalker!"

Amorok · 01-11-2010, 07:33 PM

I've never been on either side of the issue, but I almost understand it. When my ex left me it fucked me up and I had a hard time dealing with it. I wanted her back so bad that I didn't care what it meant. I knew though that even if she decided she wanted us back that it wouldn't be the same, maybe the stalker just doesn't understand that. Also, at the time I didn't think there could be anything as good or better after that, I was really fatalistic about relationships and very bitter. Thank God I got out o that or I never would have met Ulu and had the great relationship we've had the last eight years. Maybe the stalker is just desperate to be happy and believes, mistakenly so, that there's no other way to be happy unless they get you back. Who knows. I really think that loss and heartbreak combined with a little blindness can take love over the top to obssession. Alls I can say is there but from the grace of God...

Amber Lamps · 01-11-2010, 07:35 PM

I've never understood this either. I'm an "anti-stalker", seriously, I'm the guy women get mad at because they say one negative thing and I never call them again. When it's done, it's done. There are way too many other people in the world for me to put that much effort into one person to be honest. If I call a girl 2 or 3 times and she doesn't return my calls, bang delete!

Although, I will say that sometimes I think that the world is a little quick to label someone a stalker these days. It's like if the woman likes the guy, he can follow her to the ends of the Earth. If she doesn't, he's a stalker if he stops at her work twice even if it's a public place like a restaurant. IMHO a person doesn't hit stalker status until the other person tells them straight out that they don't want anything to do with them and they still pursue. Hints don't really count.

Amber Lamps · 01-11-2010, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amorok

I've never been on either side of the issue, but I almost understand it. When my ex left me it fucked me up and I had a hard time dealing with it. I wanted her back so bad that I didn't care what it meant. I knew though that even if she decided she wanted us back that it wouldn't be the same, maybe the stalker just doesn't understand that. Also, at the time I didn't think there could be anything as good or better after that, I was really fatalistic about relationships and very bitter. Thank God I got out o that or I never would have met Ulu and had the great relationship we've had the last eight years. Maybe the stalker is just desperate to be happy and believes, mistakenly so, that there's no other way to be happy unless they get you back. Who knows. I really think that loss and heartbreak combined with a little blindness can take love over the top to obssession. Alls I can say is there but from the grace of God...

Hmmm that makes sense, then there is low self esteem issues as well? What about the person that chases someone that they've never had a relationship with?

marko138 · 01-11-2010, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TIGGER

I've never understood this either. I'm an "anti-stalker", seriously, I'm the guy women get mad at because they say one negative thing and I never call them again. When it's done, it's done. There are way too many other people in the world for me to put that much effort into one person to be honest. If I call a girl 2 or 3 times and she doesn't return my calls, bang delete!

Although, I will say that sometimes I think that the world is a little quick to label someone a stalker these days. It's like if the woman likes the guy, he can follow her to the ends of the Earth. If she doesn't, he's a stalker if he stops at her work twice even if it's a public place like a restaurant. IMHO a person doesn't hit stalker status until the other person tells them straight out that they don't want anything to do with them and they still pursue. Hints don't really count.

You're making sense to me right now.

Amber Lamps · 01-11-2010, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marko138

You're making sense to me right now.

Thanks, I've seen girls put the "stalker" label on a guy for calling a few times but end up dating a guy that called them 50 times... Huh?

I don't know but it's sometimes funny to me how something like this can back fire in their faces. A lot of men are terrified to pursue a woman anymore for fear of being labeled a stalker. Hell, a lot of your grandfathers would be labeled stalkers if they went after your grandmothers the same way they did back in the day... Oh and for the love of God don't you dare ask out a girl from work!

Several people have criticized where we guys "find our women" but the truth is that several of the old relationship pathways are now gone...

MissHell · 01-11-2010, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by azoomm

How is it that people feel the need to follow people around. Especially people that they claim to love, or have loved? I mean, do they think that being part of the other person's life will make them closer to that person in some way? OR, do they think it will make the other person love them and want to be with them?

I know, I'm trying to understand crazy. In most cases crazy won't ever be understood. I'm just looking for a little enlightenment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by azoomm

I was thinking the trouble letting go was probably the top of the list. I mean, how dare the other person move on with their life when you can't [or won't]. That, maybe if the stalker hangs around the stalkee enough they will remember all the fantastic times and want to give it another go? Let's just forget all the psycho activity of being a bad stalker because you're busted out in the open and stuff....

Amen! If you find the answer, I'd like to know too.
Been dealing with HIS pyscho ex for months now.

smileyman · 01-11-2010, 08:53 PM

stalkers equal psycho. But its a broad genre. Basically they feel like having you will fix or feed some psychological need. These needs run the gamut, so each case is pretty much an individual.

defector · 01-11-2010, 08:54 PM

Shoot them.
It's Texas, right?

01-11-2010, 07:24 PM	#12
TommyHotWheel Imported from Detroit Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Michigan Moto: 2001 Suzuki TL1000R Posts: 989	Remember..."There is no such thing...as a Hot stalker!" __________________ Cry Havok! And let slip the hogs of war!

01-11-2010, 08:53 PM	#19
smileyman White Trash Hero Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NW Arkansas Moto: Buell 1125R Porco Rosso Edition Posts: 4,895	stalkers equal psycho. But its a broad genre. Basically they feel like having you will fix or feed some psychological need. These needs run the gamut, so each case is pretty much an individual. __________________ Arkriders.com To be the best you must first be willing to risk the worst!

01-11-2010, 08:54 PM	#20
defector My balls, your chin Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: The desert of Az Moto: 929, SV650, YZ250 Posts: 1,917	Shoot them. It's Texas, right? __________________ Reading this signature may give you special powers, including the ability to run through walls. You should try it immediately.

01-11-2010, 07:33 PM	#13
Amorok Issukangitok Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Biloxi, MS Moto: '06 Suzuki Boulevard C50T Posts: 2,225	I've never been on either side of the issue, but I almost understand it. When my ex left me it fucked me up and I had a hard time dealing with it. I wanted her back so bad that I didn't care what it meant. I knew though that even if she decided she wanted us back that it wouldn't be the same, maybe the stalker just doesn't understand that. Also, at the time I didn't think there could be anything as good or better after that, I was really fatalistic about relationships and very bitter. Thank God I got out o that or I never would have met Ulu and had the great relationship we've had the last eight years. Maybe the stalker is just desperate to be happy and believes, mistakenly so, that there's no other way to be happy unless they get you back. Who knows. I really think that loss and heartbreak combined with a little blindness can take love over the top to obssession. Alls I can say is there but from the grace of God...

01-11-2010, 07:35 PM	#14
Amber Lamps Moto GP Star Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 14,556	I've never understood this either. I'm an "anti-stalker", seriously, I'm the guy women get mad at because they say one negative thing and I never call them again. When it's done, it's done. There are way too many other people in the world for me to put that much effort into one person to be honest. If I call a girl 2 or 3 times and she doesn't return my calls, bang delete! Although, I will say that sometimes I think that the world is a little quick to label someone a stalker these days. It's like if the woman likes the guy, he can follow her to the ends of the Earth. If she doesn't, he's a stalker if he stops at her work twice even if it's a public place like a restaurant. IMHO a person doesn't hit stalker status until the other person tells them straight out that they don't want anything to do with them and they still pursue. Hints don't really count.