Have you smacked a child today?

[CasterTroy]

Originally Posted by azoomm

And, while your at it, teach them some courtesy. When someone says, "Excuse me" it's usually because you're in the FUCKING WAY.
.

My middle daughter is picking up some bad habits lately. Our kitchen is by no means huge. It's actually pretty tight. And for some reason wants to be right there anytime we're in there. Well instead of saying "excuse me" and waiting for one of us to move, she acts like a cat and tries to squeeze by you. The problem is....she's 12 and no longer a tiny little toddler. Even though she still must THINK she's tiny. We're constantly on her about saying excuse me BEFORE you barrel into someone

Then I get out in public and realize, we must be the ONLY parents that are self aware and trying to make our kids respectable adults.

[Kaneman]

Originally Posted by CasterTroy

My middle daughter is picking up some bad habits lately. Our kitchen is by no means huge. It's actually pretty tight. And for some reason wants to be right there anytime we're in there. Well instead of saying "excuse me" and waiting for one of us to move, she acts like a cat and tries to squeeze by you. The problem is....she's 12 and no longer a tiny little toddler. Even though she still must THINK she's tiny. We're constantly on her about saying excuse me BEFORE you barrel into someone

Then I get out in public and realize, we must be the ONLY parents that are self aware and trying to make our kids respectable adults.

I bet if you punch her square in the back of her skull she'll cut that shit out.

You know where a lot of parents fuck up? The warning. Never, ever give a warning. You tell kid to do something, kid doesn't do it, BAM!! POW!!! WAMMO!!!

The only time a child would talk back or disobey to your face would be if they were trying to commit suicide by parent.

[AquaPython]

josh, maybe they arent forcing their kids to watch harry and the hendersons enough?

[Kaneman]

Originally Posted by AquaPython

josh, maybe they arent forcing their kids to watch harry and the hendersons enough?

He loved every minute of it!

I made sure to leave before the final scene...letting the boy see me cry over a Sasquatch would completely relieve all the fear I've instilled into him.

[z06boy]

Originally Posted by Kaneman

If not, get to work. The day is young and there are (apparently) many children in serious need of a beatdown.

Sorry, I was reminded of how shitty most kids are during a shopping trip yesterday. So please, as the Christmas season approaches and the stores flood with mindless zombie shoppers, give an unruly child a friendly reminder of how easily someone with 4x their body mass can destroy them.

While you're at it, kick their father in the balls....he's a disgrace to testicles anyway.

Originally Posted by Kaneman

All I wanted to do was go out and buy a new couch. Who the fuck lets their kid JUMP on couches and beds in the store? Apparently everyone who shops for furniture with their kid, that's who. Man if my kid did that I'd have to put him up for adoption and kill myself for being a total failure as a human being.

And throwing a fit? WHO THE FUCK LETS THEIR KID THROW A FIT IN THE STORE?!?!? Speak up so that I can make fun of you, because you're a fucking moron. A kid weighs 50-125lbs....and you can't control them? Get out...just get out. I don't mean out of the store, I mean out of Earth...get the fuck out of Earth because you're wasting my oxygen and my water. Just go.

Originally Posted by Kaneman

I was in Braums the other day picking up some Milk and some BAREFOOT screaming 5 year old boy comes running up behind me and slaps me on the back. First of all, put some fucking shoes on....holy shit they make and sell food in here, you fucking ignorant redneck asshole.

Secondly, if you hit me again I'm literally going to choke you until you pass out....and I'm not going to set you down gently either.

Self defense motherfucker.

Originally Posted by Kaneman

I bet if you punch her square in the back of her skull she'll cut that shit out.

You know where a lot of parents fuck up? The warning. Never, ever give a warning. You tell kid to do something, kid doesn't do it, BAM!! POW!!! WAMMO!!!

The only time a child would talk back or disobey to your face would be if they were trying to commit suicide by parent.

Originally Posted by Kaneman

I made sure to leave before the final scene...letting the boy see me cry over a Sasquatch would completely relieve all the fear I've instilled into him.

[Particle Man]

Originally Posted by Kaneman

He loved every minute of it!

I made sure to leave before the final scene...letting the boy see me cry over a Sasquatch would completely relieve all the fear I've instilled into him.

[Dave]

Originally Posted by CasterTroy

My middle daughter is picking up some bad habits lately. Our kitchen is by no means huge. It's actually pretty tight. And for some reason wants to be right there anytime we're in there. Well instead of saying "excuse me" and waiting for one of us to move, she acts like a cat and tries to squeeze by you. The problem is....she's 12 and no longer a tiny little toddler. Even though she still must THINK she's tiny. We're constantly on her about saying excuse me BEFORE you barrel into someone

Then I get out in public and realize, we must be the ONLY parents that are self aware and trying to make our kids respectable adults.

Spear her ass like a linebacker, betcha she stops

[defector]

Originally Posted by Dave

Spear her ass like a linebacker, betcha she stops

This guy was my babysitter. I was a well behaved kid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sn-7Ozvnfdc

[Avatard]

Originally Posted by azoomm

Yeah, I don't get it either. Not at all. Not in any way. Control your offspring.

And, while your at it, teach them some courtesy. When someone says, "Excuse me" it's usually because you're in the FUCKING WAY.

My reflexes have gotten incredible.

I'm guessing that you could probably whack 'em real good with a fucking crutch, and just say "Oops! I slipped".