Punishing kids

[Particle Man]

Originally Posted by azoomm

Animals punish their young with pain, we are above that. We have opposable thumbs and are supposedly intelligent creatures. Yet, we continue to bruise our way through our lives. Awesome.

You've never tried Akido, have you?

Thumbs are invaluable tools for inflicting pain.

[derf]

Originally Posted by azoomm

Props to you for knowing how to get your child to pay attention. I don't understand raising a hand to solve a problem, or teaching your children that pain is the best answer to get someone to pay attention.

There is an age where pain as a punishment doesn't really work any more. At my sons age 5 yes it still works. At that age he doesn't fully comprehend that his actions have consequences but he does understand that his actions cause pain. he is starting to get the point, but sometimes yes a good hard whack to the but is the only thing that works. If he goes too far down the street without an adult and I take away the TV privledges, the act doesn't associate with the punishment, but a spank on the ass will.

My daughter, 10, it doesn't get spanked at all anymore. She comprehends that her actions have consequences even if they are not connected. If she lies then she looses the TV or radio or something. I can hit her all day long and she will understand that too, but with her level of thinking and her understanding of the implications of her actions I don't need to really.

It's really about what works with each child, their maturity level, and their ability to associate actions and consequences. It's not about pain at all, just about their comprehension of the world around them.

Now my wife on the other hand, all she gets is the other hand

[Rangerscott]

I was whipped until I cried and then some. FYI. Don't tucker down cause yo back has no cushion.

[caveman]

Originally Posted by azoomm

Sorry, but I don't agree with any form of corporal punishment. Though, I feel too many of today's parents are trying to give their kids a hug and a cookie for their actions. THAT is moronic, at best. There should be a better balance.

Animals punish their young with pain, we are above that. We have opposable thumbs and are supposedly intelligent creatures. Yet, we continue to bruise our way through our lives. Awesome.

If its worked in the animal kingdom this long, well then.......
I don't believe in "Beating". What I believe in is corporal punishment, let the punishment fit the crime and be just. I have often been able to get the response from both of my children with just the, "I am gonna WHOOP your ass, if you don't quit" look. Other times when my son has been acting a complete fool and has been told more than once to knock it off then its a crack on the backside. If he persists then he gets full on 5 whack spanking, and sent to his room to stare at the ceiling. I also am not a big fan of repeating myself. If I have told my daughter more than twice in the same week about school requirements, whatever they may be, its time to remind her, by tanning her backside. NEVER, NEVER do I beat my kids ANYWHERE other than on their bottom. I have never grabbed their arms to leave bruises or shook them, or used any type of close fist on them. (although, I am sure before my son hits 18 we may come to that, he's got a fightin streak in him) I have on occasion done the finger to the sternum trick to snap them back to reality a time or two. That in a nutshell is what I call corporal punishment. NO BELTS, NO SWITCHES, NOTHING OTHER THAN MY HAND

[z06boy]

Originally Posted by caveman

If its worked in the animal kingdom this long, well then.......
I don't believe in "Beating". What I believe in is corporal punishment, let the punishment fit the crime and be just. I have often been able to get the response from both of my children with just the, "I am gonna WHOOP your ass, if you don't quit" look. Other times when my son has been acting a complete fool and has been told more than once to knock it off then its a crack on the backside. If he persists then he gets full on 5 whack spanking, and sent to his room to stare at the ceiling. I also am not a big fan of repeating myself. If I have told my daughter more than twice in the same week about school requirements, whatever they may be, its time to remind her, by tanning her backside. NEVER, NEVER do I beat my kids ANYWHERE other than on their bottom. I have never grabbed their arms to leave bruises or shook them, or used any type of close fist on them. (although, I am sure before my son hits 18 we may come to that, he's got a fightin streak in him) I have on occasion done the finger to the sternum trick to snap them back to reality a time or two. That in a nutshell is what I call corporal punishment. NO BELTS, NO SWITCHES, NOTHING OTHER THAN MY HAND

I feel pretty much the same and this is pretty much how I was raised...well except for an occasional belt used on me when I was in my teens.

I have no problem with parants spanking their children. Abuse and beating obviously is a different story.

[Bluestreak]

I got my butt spanked when I was a kid. Most of the time my dad used a belt or a paddle. If I acted up in public, we went to the car. I always hated that walk.

My 3 yr old daughter will get 1 whack when she is spanked (rarely) but is always preceded by a talk of why she is being punished. Always my hand, and never anywhere other than her butt. ALWAYS in the privacy of my home. We've found though, that the most effective punishment for her is to have her stand in the living room corner for 4 minutes with her nose mere inches from the wall. If she moves, or speaks, she gets an additional minute. When the egg timer beeps, she can leave. She HATES this punishment and we use it whenever it's needed. Every time she is punished, we tell her why and what she should have done differently. I feel talking with her and explaining what she did wrong is the most important piece of the process. At 3 years old, she understands actions have consequences.

With my son's young age, 19 months, he only gets a few minutes of isolation in his crib. He hates not being able to have his freedom.

I agree that there is a difference between punishing your children and beating them. The punishment should fit the crime and I try to never physically discipline my children (child is more applicable for me) while I'm angry.

I agree with caveman. "Beating" is never an option and I despise people who beat their children/wives etc...

I also agree with Pauldun. There is no good reason to hit a toddler. They can't comprehend what they did wrong. If they are old enough to comprehend and no other punishment fits, corporal punishment is an option in my book.

There have been times that I've wanted to duct tape them both to the wall!!! Having children is one of the most rewarding things, but it's also one of the most frustrating!

In 3 weeks I will have 3 children under the age of 4.

[Kaneman]

Belts rock.

[Papa_Complex]

Originally Posted by Kaneman

Belts rock.

... and shoes, hairbrushes, rulers...

[Gas Man]

Originally Posted by Kaneman

Belts rock.

No belt buckles rock!

I myself don't have kids and don't really plan on it. But I agree more with Cave's pov, and that hurts to say (kiddin bud). Honestly, I want to know where all your kids are and why are there not more of them near me. The kids I come across on a daily event are horrible.

What changed I ask myself.... no corporal punishment? I'm not sure. But kids these days are getting worse than my generation was, and I don't think my generation is all that great. Many of my peers are still F ups.

[defector]

Originally Posted by Gas Man

No belt buckles rock!

I myself don't have kids and don't really plan on it. But I agree more with Cave's pov, and that hurts to say (kiddin bud). Honestly, I want to know where all your kids are and why are there not more of them near me. The kids I come across on a daily event are horrible.

What changed I ask myself.... no corporal punishment? I'm not sure. But kids these days are getting worse than my generation was, and I don't think my generation is all that great. Many of my peers are still F ups.

By and large today, it seems as if a good amount of adults would rather be their kids' friends, then actually be their parents. I also notice many people are unwilling to offend their children.