Today's Funny - Page 4

wildchild · 12-15-2009, 08:28 AM

#6 would be fun to try. I bet we have a couple here who would retry a couple times.

Particle Man · 12-15-2009, 01:50 PM

Santa vs. system admins

The similarities between Santa and System Admins

1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny.
2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal.
3. Santa seldom answers your mail.
4. When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he's got, he says, "Elves make it for me."
5. Santa doesn't care about your deadlines.
6. Your parents ascribed supernatural powers to Santa, but did all the work themselves.
7. Nobody knows who Santa has to answer to for his actions.
8. Santa laughs entirely too much.
9. Only a lunatic says bad things about Santa in his presence

Particle Man · 12-15-2009, 01:54 PM

News Years Resolutions over the years

* * 2003: I will get my weight down below 180.
* * 2004: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.
* * 2005: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200.
* * 2006: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
* * 2007: I will work out 5 days a week.
* * 2008: I will work out 3 days a week.
* * 2009: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

racedoll · 12-28-2009, 12:09 PM

Good one! Both of them.

marko138 · 12-28-2009, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by racedoll

Good one! Both of them.

Concur.

racedoll · 01-04-2010, 08:43 PM

karl_1052 · 01-07-2010, 10:33 AM

How Rednecks handle bad news.

Three rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower: Cooter, ROTU and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, ROTU says,'Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife. Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.' Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.

ROTU says, 'Where did you get that beer, Donnie?'

'Cooter's wife gave it to me,' ROTU replies 'That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?' 'Well, not exactly', Donnie says. 'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be Cooter's widow." She said, 'You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow.' Then I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.'

Rednecks are good at sensitive stuff.

marko138 · 01-07-2010, 10:36 AM

z06boy · 01-07-2010, 10:56 AM

Some good ones here. I didn't realize this had turned into a post a joke thread and haven't been clicking on this thread since my initial time. Glad I did...funny stuff !!

I spent a year in Japan and the one with the Japanese girl hit close to home with me.

wildchild · 01-07-2010, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by z06boy

I spent a year in Japan and the one with the Japanese girl hit close to home with me.

so you've heard that word before? ...........

I'm outta here lol

12-15-2009, 01:50 PM	#2
Particle Man Custom User Title Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Central NY Moto: 2003 SV650S Posts: 14,959	Santa vs. system admins The similarities between Santa and System Admins 1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny. 2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal. 3. Santa seldom answers your mail. 4. When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he's got, he says, "Elves make it for me." 5. Santa doesn't care about your deadlines. 6. Your parents ascribed supernatural powers to Santa, but did all the work themselves. 7. Nobody knows who Santa has to answer to for his actions. 8. Santa laughs entirely too much. 9. Only a lunatic says bad things about Santa in his presence __________________ I'm not "fat." I'm "Enlarged to show texture." Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away.

12-15-2009, 01:54 PM	#3
Particle Man Custom User Title Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Central NY Moto: 2003 SV650S Posts: 14,959	News Years Resolutions over the years * * 2003: I will get my weight down below 180. * * 2004: I will watch my calories until I get below 190. * * 2005: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200. * * 2006: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight. * * 2007: I will work out 5 days a week. * * 2008: I will work out 3 days a week. * * 2009: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week. __________________ I'm not "fat." I'm "Enlarged to show texture." Handle every stressful situation like a DOG: If you can't eat it or hump it, pi$$ on it & walk away.

01-07-2010, 10:33 AM	#7
karl_1052 sergeant hatred Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Ottawa Moto: The bus Posts: 2,723	How Rednecks handle bad news. Three rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower: Cooter, ROTU and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, ROTU says,'Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife. Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.' Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser. ROTU says, 'Where did you get that beer, Donnie?' 'Cooter's wife gave it to me,' ROTU replies 'That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?' 'Well, not exactly', Donnie says. 'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be Cooter's widow." She said, 'You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow.' Then I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.' Rednecks are good at sensitive stuff. __________________ My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

12-15-2009, 08:28 AM	#1
wildchild cruiser Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: on the run Moto: '09 HD superglide, 16 Yamaha FZ 09 Posts: 2,749	#6 would be fun to try. I bet we have a couple here who would retry a couple times.

12-28-2009, 12:09 PM	#4
racedoll AMA Supersport Join Date: Nov 2008 Moto: '04 Kawasaki ZX6RR Posts: 3,392	Good one! Both of them.

01-04-2010, 08:43 PM	#6
racedoll AMA Supersport Join Date: Nov 2008 Moto: '04 Kawasaki ZX6RR Posts: 3,392

01-07-2010, 10:56 AM	#9
z06boy Letzroll Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Lake Norman area, NC Moto: 07 Red R1 & 07 Blue R6 Posts: 5,265	Some good ones here. I didn't realize this had turned into a post a joke thread and haven't been clicking on this thread since my initial time. Glad I did...funny stuff !! I spent a year in Japan and the one with the Japanese girl hit close to home with me.