Vasectomy.

[the chi]

Originally Posted by TIGGER

Okay, but it doesn't necessarily affect her life does it? I mean the truth of the matter is, she married someone who clearly stated that they never wanted to have children. She agreed to his conditions. Him getting fixed shouldn't change anything between them technically. He is being consistent and true to his principles.

Are you serious? Really?! Of course it affects her! How could you possibly think it doesnt, regardless of whether or not it was planned to not have children. Women are foolish enough to every day go into a marriage with the thought they can change a man, as evidenced by Triple's wife thinking perhaps she could change his mind, its not right, but it happens. And being a female, and observing those of my gender, alot of times women dont even realize that they are doing this.

However, blatantly going out and getting snipped, without first talking to your wife, your PARTNER, and lying or not being straightforward robs her of her chance to make a clean break, and go do her own thing. If he tells her, "hey, I am doing this, I will never have children with you", she either accepts it or leaves. Not telling her, and pretending to make the motions to have children and it not occurring can be crippling for those women who find it "necessary" to have kids.

I know you are all about being selfish and doing your own thing, but damn Tig, thats pretty low to even consider.

[the chi]

Originally Posted by pauldun170

He already bitched out and got married violating one principle.

No point...just establishing ...yeah no point.

Otherwise.
Divorce and let the girl go find some who shares the same goals.

AMEN. No offense intended Triple, but ya did kinda set a precedence by going against what you told her once already.

Originally Posted by askmrjesus

What? And let her off the hook for her half of the flat screen?

JC

Nah, thats why they make divorce paperwork, you get to pick and choose the debt sharing! She can still pay her half, or he gets the tv, she gets the couch and they take the debt for the item they keep...

[MILK]

Originally Posted by The Chi

Are you serious? Really?! Of course it affects her! How could you possibly think it doesnt, regardless of whether or not it was planned to not have children. Women are foolish enough to every day go into a marriage with the thought they can change a man, as evidenced by Triple's wife thinking perhaps she could change his mind, its not right, but it happens. And being a female, and observing those of my gender, alot of times women dont even realize that they are doing this.

However, blatantly going out and getting snipped, without first talking to your wife, your PARTNER, and lying or not being straightforward robs her of her chance to make a clean break, and go do her own thing. If he tells her, "hey, I am doing this, I will never have children with you", she either accepts it or leaves. Not telling her, and pretending to make the motions to have children and it not occurring can be crippling for those women who find it "necessary" to have kids.

I know you are all about being selfish and doing your own thing, but damn Tig, thats pretty low to even consider.

Amen. She is very young too. She has plenty of time to find someone to marry and have children with if she chooses to. She deserves that choice. Children are a big deal to a lot of women AND men and no one has the right to deny that through deception.

[askmrjesus]

Originally Posted by The Chi

I know you are all about being selfish and doing your own thing, but damn Tig, thats pretty low to even consider.

The word "cowardly" comes to mind.

JC

[the chi]

I know I am coming off a little preachy, but knowing the girl that was lied to by her ex about his vasectomy and knowing how drastically she was hurt and how much it impacted her life, I cant in good conscience say go ahead, without saying, TELL HER. My friend has remarried, and is a wonderful person despite his deception, but because so many years of her life were spent with a jackass that lied to her, she is now in a rush to have children before its too late as she is considered a high risk, and every year tht passes makes it that much less likely she can even have that child she's always dreamed of. If he had told her from the start, she could have made her own decision to marry him or move on, he took that away from her.

From the other side, I was the female that didnt want kids, and from the very beginning I was clear about it. I told my ex I would never have kids, and he could take it or leave it. He thought he could deal with that, maybe change my mind, turns out he couldnt, and it made him unhappy, but the blame lays on him for thinking he could change me. Fortunately for him, he was able to move on, still young enough to have that family he wanted, and has already started.

*Triple - Every guy I have ever known that had the procedure says while its uncomfortable during the procedure, there is a very short healing period and they are all 100% glad they had it done and woud never go back. The reversal I have been told is MUCH WORSE than the initial procedure.

[R6Chick]

Haha, I'm just taking a break from work and found this thread.

If a man I thought I could change, but wouldn't for children, I would be disappointed and need to make some rough life decisions. Worst case, kiss on the forehead and a tearful goodbye.

If a man I thought I could change lied about something that big, I would take everything I could away and focus all my energy on revenge until I was satisfied the Asshole paid for my expense of time, energy, and emotion due to his lies.

You'll always have better luck at being up front since big things like this always tend to come out in the open.

Also, this is equivalent to a women "forgetting" BC or poking holes in the condom. I feel as though the situation is no different on either side.

[James]

Look 18 months into the future....

"Poll: How did my vasectomy fail? Wife is pregnant"

[HurricaneHeather]

Man, it seems like you and your wife might be two hopelessly miserable people.

[LeeNetworX]

Originally Posted by James

Look 18 months into the future....

"Poll: How did my vasectomy fail? Wife is pregnant"

Answer: She found out about his plan and paid the doctor to not really snip 'em.

[shmike]

Originally Posted by LeeNetworX

Answer: She found out about his plan and paid the doctor to not really snip 'em.

Doubt it.

They's po'.

Based on history, I'd think she'd beat or bite the Dr. into submission.