4500 dollar necklace

[tommymac]

Originally Posted by Tsunami

its not as embarrassing as going to the ER to get something out of your ass!

I dont think they realize that untill things go horribly wrong

Tom

[cbrchick]

Originally Posted by tommymac

I dont think they realize that untill things go horribly wrong

Tom

And the histories are the best. Especially when they go straight through triage b/c our paramedics can't keep a straight face. I love some of the notes they make, very creative.

The guy with the juicer thingy stuck up his bum had it for a couple days. When I got him to change and I told him what to expect, he asked me a simple question.... "where should I put my wallet?" when he changed in to his johnny shirt. I replied, "Where I know where you shouldn't put it. Don't shove it up your A$$". I couldn't help myself and we both laughed.....

I've seen batteries, nails, coins, staples swallowed. Pop bottles stuck on the end of men's birds that need cutting off with ring cutters (one Dr. turned it into a "teaching" case and a whole lotta tugging from the nurses end. I've seen glass dildo's that have broken apart and needed surgery. Vibrators/Dildo's that were stuck - they get up past the pelvic bones and are hard to retrieve on one's own.

When objects are confiscated from various peeps hiding places, we usually keep them for a couple days in our dirty utility room for one another's viewing pleasure. The Xrays are great b/c we don't have to throw those away. The best is when it's kinda quiet and people start recanting stories over the years. It's crazy what people will do and the excuses they give. "I just slipped in the shower" is quite common apparently.


Kirsty

[tommymac]

Originally Posted by cbrchick

And the histories are the best. Especially when they go straight through triage b/c our paramedics can't keep a straight face. I love some of the notes they make, very creative.

The guy with the juicer thingy stuck up his bum had it for a couple days. When I got him to change and I told him what to expect, he asked me a simple question.... "where should I put my wallet?" when he changed in to his johnny shirt. I replied, "Where I know where you shouldn't put it. Don't shove it up your A$$". I couldn't help myself and we both laughed.....

I've seen batteries, nails, coins, staples swallowed. Pop bottles stuck on the end of men's birds that need cutting off with ring cutters (one Dr. turned it into a "teaching" case and a whole lotta tugging from the nurses end. I've seen glass dildo's that have broken apart and needed surgery. Vibrators/Dildo's that were stuck - they get up past the pelvic bones and are hard to retrieve on one's own.

When objects are confiscated from various peeps hiding places, we usually keep them for a couple days in our dirty utility room for one another's viewing pleasure. The Xrays are great b/c we don't have to throw those away. The best is when it's kinda quiet and people start recanting stories over the years. It's crazy what people will do and the excuses they give. "I just slipped in the shower" is quite common apparently.


Kirsty

One I had a few years back was a LARGE vaginal hematoma. I saw the girl walk into triage and looke dlike she had the PID shuffle. I figured ok easy enough, quick pelvic shot of rocephin and a script for doxy and were good. Boy was I wrong.

I bring her in and she tells me she has a large lump down there, I figure ok prolly a bartholins cyst, still easy but a little smelly. I have her change and set her up on the table, shes got this big purple lump on one side. my exact words were holy shit how did you do that. She tells me she was sweeping the floor and fell on the broom handle (at 4am on a fri night I seriously doubt it) I grilled her for a bit on what realy happened and she wouldnt budge. I dont think it was any sortof rape or anything since she seemed too relaxed for that, prolly some sort of sex thing gone awry.

I page our crack gyn staff (thats loaded with sarcasm) I tell the resident, he says just ice it and let her go home. I tell him I called you for a consult, not what should I do so come evaluate the pt. jackass comes down all in a huff, and tries to stand by his original comments. So I tell him we will see what your attending says. Safe to say she was admitted and I think it was drained in the OR.

Tom

[Tsunami]

Originally Posted by cbrchick

The guy with the juicer thingy stuck up his bum had it for a couple days.

"I just slipped in the shower" is quite common apparently.


Kirsty

He left it in there for a couple of days?? So he was walking around with it for a couple of days waiting for it to fall out?? What if he needed to poop?

WTF? I slipped in the shower and landed with a juicer thingy/ soda bottle/ toilet plunger up my ass? Do they think people would actually buy that?

Originally Posted by tommymac

I page our crack gyn staff (thats loaded with sarcasm) I tell the resident, he says just ice it and let her go home. I tell him I called you for a consult, not what should I do so come evaluate the pt. jackass comes down all in a huff, and tries to stand by his original comments. So I tell him we will see what your attending says. Safe to say she was admitted and I think it was drained in the OR.

Tom

Lazy jackass.

[tommymac]

Originally Posted by Tsunami

He left it in there for a couple of days?? So he was walking around with it for a couple of days waiting for it to fall out?? What if he needed to poop?

WTF? I slipped in the shower and landed with a juicer thingy/ soda bottle/ toilet plunger up my ass? Do they think people would actually buy that?



Lazy jackass.

our gyn service can be flat out scary, esp the residents. I sent one pt up to OB fo ran eval for a ruptured ectopic, the resident called and yelled at me tha ther pressure was high and should have gaver her something to lower it. Had I done that I may have killed her since she was indeed bleeding into her belly

tom

[rogue]

Originally Posted by tommymac

our gyn service can be flat out scary, esp the residents. I sent one pt up to OB fo ran eval for a ruptured ectopic, the resident called and yelled at me tha ther pressure was high and should have gaver her something to lower it. Had I done that I may have killed her since she was indeed bleeding into her belly

tom

I hope you advised against it and told them why.

[tommymac]

Originally Posted by rogue

I hope you advised against it and told them why.

She didnt want to hear it and siad she will document it and tell her attending. I told her go ahead, just spell my name right. I dont know if she ever graduated but she was a very crappy doctor.

tom

[the chi]

Ok, no med person here...grossly fascinating topic tho...people are freaks.

What was the shrimp story?

And Im confused on the broom handle one. She had a purple lump on her side that needed draining?

[tommymac]

Originally Posted by The Chi

Ok, no med person here...grossly fascinating topic tho...people are freaks.

What was the shrimp story?

And Im confused on the broom handle one. She had a purple lump on her side that needed draining?

She suffered some sort of trauma to the vagina resulting in a LARGE hematoma, and her story was she fell on the broom handle.

The shrimp, long sotry short is a guy stuck a full jumboo shrimp in his but and couldnt get it out, but he told ems and the docs that he ate it and it made its way there then got stuck. took them a while to realize that it was anatomically impossible for something that size to travel the whole GI tract.

Tom

[the chi]

Originally Posted by tommymac

She suffered some sort of trauma to the vagina resulting in a LARGE hematoma, and her story was she fell on the broom handle.

The shrimp, long sotry short is a guy stuck a full jumboo shrimp in his but and couldnt get it out, but he told ems and the docs that he ate it and it made its way there then got stuck. took them a while to realize that it was anatomically impossible for something that size to travel the whole GI tract.

Tom

K, thats what I was thinking but I didnt know if I was wrong...

Um, a shrimp huh, seafood fetish maybe?