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View Poll Results: How many people will die?
Just me. 0 0%
Just you. 0 0%
Everybody. 1 4.35%
Nine girls named Brandy 6 26.09%
Ann Coulter 2 8.70%
Tigger 3 13.04%
The entire staff of Mythbusters 7 30.43%
Tater Tots Spore of a Mushroom Cloud 4 17.39%
Voters: 23. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-04-2010, 07:18 PM   #1
askmrjesus
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Default Damn this waters' cold...

Ordinarily, if I was telling this joke, the punchline would be, "And it's deep too!"

But it's not deep.

It's right near the surface.

It's also frozen. Solid. Like, Rock of Fucking Ages, solid.

Why? Because it's a hundred degrees below zero outside, (rough calculation) and the Wilderness Elves that watch over my water supply have wandered into the fog, and been devoured by Marmots.

On the other hand, it could just be that the waterline from my cistern starts out above grade, and freezes. This pisses me off to no end. My property has at least a dozen springs on it. There's "Natural Mountain Spring Water" everywhere you step.

This past Summer my yard was a tropical Hell. There was water everywhere, and nobody spoke English. Throw in some rice, a little Bamboo, and half a dozen Communists, and my backyard could have been Viet Nam.

Right now, it's Nam Kang. That's the Thai word for ice. The Goddamn pipe froze, and I've had no water one a day and a half. To make matters worse, I'm also out of ice. How fucked up is that? Ice, ice everywhere, and not a chip to sprinkle vodka over.

So, I got tired of hot vodka, and ventured up the hill with a blow torch. As we speak, I'm defrosting a pipe with fire.

Place your bets Ladies and Gentlemen...

JC
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Old 01-04-2010, 07:29 PM   #2
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<-- hopes pipes "thaw" instead of "crack". For real.
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Old 01-04-2010, 07:42 PM   #3
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You are nuts.

Good luck.
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Old 01-04-2010, 07:50 PM   #4
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You haven't lived till you've crawled under a house at -5 degrees and spent an hour unfreezing your pipes with a blow dryer.

Hope your pipes unfreeze and don't break.
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Old 01-04-2010, 08:28 PM   #5
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When you are done with that, run and get two old lamps, a couple 100W bulbs and an extension cord and ensure that this doesn't happen again. Just a suggestion from the guy from Michigan.
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Old 01-04-2010, 08:28 PM   #6
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careful with that torch. Thawing pipes out sucks, but cleaning up after pipes bust is even worse.
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Old 01-04-2010, 08:30 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Morgan View Post
careful with that torch. Thawing pipes out sucks, but cleaning up after pipes bust is even worse.
I was thinking that too... I'd honestly go with a couple light bulbs...if you thaw the ice too fast the pipe will burst for sure...
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Old 01-04-2010, 08:33 PM   #8
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It was 75 degrees in the LA area today. Woot...supposed to be 73 this weekend. Great for riding hard.
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Old 01-04-2010, 08:59 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TIGGER View Post
When you are done with that, run and get two old lamps, a couple 100W bulbs and an extension cord and ensure that this doesn't happen again. Just a suggestion from the guy from Michigan.
This worked for me in Alaska. It was hard to sleep though, thinking that the house was going to burn down. It didn't. And the pipes didn't freeze.

Now I'm in Florida and there's a hard freeze warning tonight. Feels like home.
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Old 01-04-2010, 09:19 PM   #10
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I had a single 100w in my pump cover when i was on well water and never had the pump freeze. It doesn't take a lot to keep it just warm enough.

Good luck AMJ, I've had to do the crawl under the house thing too if we forgot to leave the water barely running in one faucet.
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