I guess he was a busy Sumbitch

VatorMan · 09-10-2008, 08:49 AM

http://www.davesdaily.com/out.php?id...NewsNum%3D1117

News 9/7/2008
One Legged Man Wins Ass Kicking Competition
By Kris

Not normally a threat to kick some ass...

Towanda, PA - Long has it been popular in US culture to likely something improbable to "a one-legged man winning an ass-kicking competition". After this past weekend, this phrase may have to be retired.

The 34-year-old Towanda resident John Kelly didn't have a lot of expectations when he entered the 4th Annual City Ass-Kicking Contest on account of his missing appendage.

"My whole life people have been telling me I couldn't kick ass," Bob told Smooth Operator. "Even more so after I lost my leg in a tragic vending machine accident."

Yet kick ass is just what Bob did, defeating all five competitors he faced, including reigning champion Terry Jones.

"The speed, the agility... suffice to say, this guy would kick even a three legged man's ass," said Jones shortly after relinquishing his crown which he had held for the past two years.

"They say that when a man loses his sight or hearing, his other senses become heightened," said Bob. "In my case, losing one leg just made the other leg more ready to kick some serious ass."

Following the competition, Bob said that he intends to travel to other towns and compete in their ass-kicking contests. He even admitted he might start taking names too.

JoJoYZF · 09-10-2008, 12:06 PM

A tragic vending machine accident? He got his leg torn off trying to get a snickers or what?

jtemple · 09-10-2008, 12:10 PM

Maybe he's the reason this sign exists.

JoJoYZF · 09-10-2008, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtemple

Maybe he's the reason this sign exists.

Very good point. Of course like many I ignore it because I figure youd have to be a complete idiot to tip it over on yourself. Evidently he is.

t-homo · 09-10-2008, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoJoYZF

Very good point. Of course like many I ignore it because I figure youd have to be a complete idiot to tip it over on yourself. Evidently he is.

Only way I can think of it tipping over on me is if my snickers gets stuck how they do, and I am trying to rock it back and jar it loose, and it hits a wall, bounces forward and just keeps coming. Kinda out there though. I think it was probably a practical joke that ended badly, like when you tip of a portapotty and the guy inside drowns.

JoJoYZF · 09-10-2008, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by t-rock

Only way I can think of it tipping over on me is if my snickers gets stuck how they do, and I am trying to rock it back and jar it loose, and it hits a wall, bounces forward and just keeps coming. Kinda out there though. I think it was probably a practical joke that ended badly, like when you tip of a portapotty and the guy inside drowns.

Now thats a great analogy.

Captain Morgan · 09-10-2008, 01:58 PM

Sounds like something from the onion.

09-10-2008, 08:49 AM	#1
VatorMan Wrap Yo Ass in Fiberglass Join Date: Feb 2008 Moto: Feet Posts: 1,605	I guess he was a busy Sumbitch http://www.davesdaily.com/out.php?id...NewsNum%3D1117 News 9/7/2008 One Legged Man Wins Ass Kicking Competition By Kris Not normally a threat to kick some ass... Towanda, PA - Long has it been popular in US culture to likely something improbable to "a one-legged man winning an ass-kicking competition". After this past weekend, this phrase may have to be retired. The 34-year-old Towanda resident John Kelly didn't have a lot of expectations when he entered the 4th Annual City Ass-Kicking Contest on account of his missing appendage. "My whole life people have been telling me I couldn't kick ass," Bob told Smooth Operator. "Even more so after I lost my leg in a tragic vending machine accident." Yet kick ass is just what Bob did, defeating all five competitors he faced, including reigning champion Terry Jones. "The speed, the agility... suffice to say, this guy would kick even a three legged man's ass," said Jones shortly after relinquishing his crown which he had held for the past two years. "They say that when a man loses his sight or hearing, his other senses become heightened," said Bob. "In my case, losing one leg just made the other leg more ready to kick some serious ass." Following the competition, Bob said that he intends to travel to other towns and compete in their ass-kicking contests. He even admitted he might start taking names too.

09-10-2008, 12:06 PM	#2
JoJoYZF Bring on the Zombies! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Cleveland Moto: 2000 Yamaha YZF600R Posts: 2,691	A tragic vending machine accident? He got his leg torn off trying to get a snickers or what?

09-10-2008, 12:10 PM	#3
jtemple Geek Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Papillion, Nebraska Moto: 2011 Husqvarna TE630 Posts: 1,437	Maybe he's the reason this sign exists.

09-10-2008, 01:58 PM	#7
Captain Morgan Let's do another U-turn Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Indiana Moto: 2009 V-Strom Posts: 3,816	Sounds like something from the onion.