I just watched...

askmrjesus · 12-28-2008, 02:38 PM

...the worst movie in history.

BLOODFREAK!

This film combines FAIL with an unimaginably bad plot.

Bad acting? Oh yes. Buckets full.

Bad direction? Check. At one point you can hear the director giving directions in the background.

The film also has bad editing, bad lighting, bad sound and looks like it was shot in Super 8 by a blind man with delirium tremors.

But lets get to the good part, the "plot".

Our hero (Hershell) is riding his chopper down the highway, when he comes upon a pretty girl having car trouble. At least you think she has car trouble because she's staring at the car, and the car's not moving. Herschell stops, smiles at the girl, gets back on his chopper and leaves. The girl follows in her car, which is now running, even though nobody has looked under the hood, or for that matter, said anything.

Somehow the girl (Angel) leads Hershell back to her sisters place, where he is offered some pot, some blow, and some sex. None of which he seems to want. There's something wrong with this guy already. What he does want, is a job. He meets a nice Christian man at the party who offers him a job at a turkey farm.

On his first day at the turkey farm, he is encouraged to eat some turkey that has been treated with some sort of evil chemical, which causes Hershell to have a seizure, and turn into a turkey himself, (try to stay with me, it gets weird after this part). It's really just his head that turns into a giant turkey head, the rest of him seems normal, except for his hands, which are now all scabby looking.

So, now that he has a giant turkey head, Hershell decides to try some pot and have sex with Angel's sister, who for some strange reason agrees (she does, however, wonder aloud about what their children might look like).

Now that Hershell is "addicted" to pot, he takes the next logical step, which we all know, is to become a vampire turkey and stalk drug addicts so he can drink their blood. Yep, he's a chopper riding turkey vampire on a killing spree. I shit you not.

But wait- there's a surprise! As it turns out, it's all just a bad dream, and Hershell isn't really a chopper riding turkey vampire on a killing spree (Damn!) he just had a bad trip on the turkey he ate with the evil chemical in it, because it turns out that our hero is a Nam vet who is addicted to pot, and the combination of pot and evil turkey chemicals makes for a REALLY bad trip.

So, he wakes up, finds Jesus, and lives happily ever after with Angel's slutty pot head sister.

The End.

Without a doubt, the most stunningly bad film I have ever seen. I highly recommend it.

JC

Porkchop · 12-28-2008, 02:43 PM

This should turn into the "Worst Movie Ever Seen" thread....

Mine would have to be A.I. with Haley Jo Osmond... worst fucking movie ever...

Dave · 12-28-2008, 02:56 PM

without a doubt, leprechan in space. if they took the whole movie budget and video taped them setting it on fire it would have been more entertaining

t-homo · 12-28-2008, 03:18 PM

I almost want to watch bloodthirst now.

OneSickPsycho · 12-28-2008, 03:33 PM

Mad Dog Morgan.

Dennis Hopper is in it... and that's where the good stuff ends. The editing was so bad that sometimes they cut off lines and portions of the action that were probably important. So bad that within the first 10 minutes I'm telling my buddy that I can't wait to see who edited the movie so I could make sure I never watched another movie edited by this person... Sure enough, it was a jackass named Josh Smith. I'm pretty sure that's a made up name cause he was so embarrassed by the turd he had created. The worst part is, without the bad editing, the movie probably wouldn't have been completely terrible. Probably.

Mr Lefty · 12-28-2008, 04:21 PM

Home of the Brave... it's got 50Cent in it...do I need to go on?

12-28-2008, 02:38 PM	#1
askmrjesus Soul Man Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Everywhere, all the time. Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit). Posts: 6,481	I just watched... ...the worst movie in history. BLOODFREAK! This film combines FAIL with an unimaginably bad plot. Bad acting? Oh yes. Buckets full. Bad direction? Check. At one point you can hear the director giving directions in the background. The film also has bad editing, bad lighting, bad sound and looks like it was shot in Super 8 by a blind man with delirium tremors. But lets get to the good part, the "plot". Our hero (Hershell) is riding his chopper down the highway, when he comes upon a pretty girl having car trouble. At least you think she has car trouble because she's staring at the car, and the car's not moving. Herschell stops, smiles at the girl, gets back on his chopper and leaves. The girl follows in her car, which is now running, even though nobody has looked under the hood, or for that matter, said anything. Somehow the girl (Angel) leads Hershell back to her sisters place, where he is offered some pot, some blow, and some sex. None of which he seems to want. There's something wrong with this guy already. What he does want, is a job. He meets a nice Christian man at the party who offers him a job at a turkey farm. On his first day at the turkey farm, he is encouraged to eat some turkey that has been treated with some sort of evil chemical, which causes Hershell to have a seizure, and turn into a turkey himself, (try to stay with me, it gets weird after this part). It's really just his head that turns into a giant turkey head, the rest of him seems normal, except for his hands, which are now all scabby looking. So, now that he has a giant turkey head, Hershell decides to try some pot and have sex with Angel's sister, who for some strange reason agrees (she does, however, wonder aloud about what their children might look like). Now that Hershell is "addicted" to pot, he takes the next logical step, which we all know, is to become a vampire turkey and stalk drug addicts so he can drink their blood. Yep, he's a chopper riding turkey vampire on a killing spree. I shit you not. But wait- there's a surprise! As it turns out, it's all just a bad dream, and Hershell isn't really a chopper riding turkey vampire on a killing spree (Damn!) he just had a bad trip on the turkey he ate with the evil chemical in it, because it turns out that our hero is a Nam vet who is addicted to pot, and the combination of pot and evil turkey chemicals makes for a REALLY bad trip. So, he wakes up, finds Jesus, and lives happily ever after with Angel's slutty pot head sister. The End. Without a doubt, the most stunningly bad film I have ever seen. I highly recommend it. JC __________________ The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.

12-28-2008, 02:43 PM	#2
Porkchop 125GP Champion Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Worthington, OH Moto: Empty Garage Posts: 3,418	This should turn into the "Worst Movie Ever Seen" thread.... Mine would have to be A.I. with Haley Jo Osmond... worst fucking movie ever... __________________ *Coming soon? 2010 Ducati Monster 696 - Sold 1984 Honda VF500F - Sold 1999 Yamaha R6 - Sold

12-28-2008, 02:56 PM	#3
Dave Chaotic Neutral Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Cherry Hill NJ Moto: GV1200 Madura, Hawk gt Posts: 13,992	without a doubt, leprechan in space. if they took the whole movie budget and video taped them setting it on fire it would have been more entertaining __________________ TWF Post whore #6

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12-28-2008, 03:18 PM	#4
t-homo WSB Champion Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Springfield, MO Posts: 7,146	I almost want to watch bloodthirst now.

12-28-2008, 03:33 PM	#5
OneSickPsycho Ride Like an Asshole Join Date: Feb 2008 Moto: nothing... Posts: 11,254	Mad Dog Morgan. Dennis Hopper is in it... and that's where the good stuff ends. The editing was so bad that sometimes they cut off lines and portions of the action that were probably important. So bad that within the first 10 minutes I'm telling my buddy that I can't wait to see who edited the movie so I could make sure I never watched another movie edited by this person... Sure enough, it was a jackass named Josh Smith. I'm pretty sure that's a made up name cause he was so embarrassed by the turd he had created. The worst part is, without the bad editing, the movie probably wouldn't have been completely terrible. Probably.

12-28-2008, 04:21 PM	#6
Mr Lefty TWFix Legend Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Denver CO Moto: 01 BMW F650GS Dakar Posts: 15,677	Home of the Brave... it's got 50Cent in it...do I need to go on?