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08-03-2008, 03:02 AM
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#1 |
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Ride Like an Asshole
Join Date: Feb 2008
Moto: nothing...
Posts: 11,254
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Hit on a dude last night...
My buddy just reminded me of something I did last night... I hit on a dude.
So here's the scene... Crowded club, no room to move... the guys get separated from the girls and my buddy notices some dude trying to hit on his fiance from across the bar... I step in. OSP: Hi! Dude: (wtf look) OSP: These girls are my friends and to get to them, you have to go through me. Dude: (chest puffs out - hardness begins) I'd fuck you up man. OSP: I'm counting on it. I really like your eyes. Dude: (completely confused - bewildered) What are you a fag man? OSP: Wanna find out? I live just around the corner. Dude: (obviously PISSED) I'll fucking kill you right here you fucking faggot. OSP: I like it rough. Dude: (getting in my face) give me a reason... OSP: Chill psycho, I'm fucking with you. This girl is my boy's fiance (point to my friend - who has NO idea what I'm saying to this guy at this point)... Dude: Whatever you fucking fag. OSP: Ok man, you're just barking up the wrong tree. Dude: Your boy should keep a better eye on his girl cause she was about to give me her number. OSP: (laughing hysterically) Not wearing that shirt she wasn't. Dude: fucking bitch... (walks away) Now the funniest thing about this entire event... No more than 1/2 hour later I'm coming out of the pisser and this dude's right coming towards me... OSP: Oh look, my special friend Dude: You shouldn't even fuck around with that fag stuff man OSP: Why? I thought it was hilarious Dude: You're lucky I didn't beat your ass with that fag stuff OSP: You need to lay off the roids man, it was a joke Dude: I don't fuck around with fags OSP: Your shirt says otherwise At that point in time I was probably about to get knocked the fuck out, but the most gigantic bouncer guy I've ever seen stepped in and asked if there was a problem... "no problem sir, well... except for this guy's shirt." and then I walked away and went back to getting shot down by this spanish chick with a ginormous ass. Seriously, this guy was the stereotypical roided out meathead with the spikey hair, skin tight horrible looking shirt... the whole nine. It was one of my finer moments. |
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08-03-2008, 03:06 AM
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#2 |
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WSB Champion
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Springfield, MO
Posts: 7,146
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Respect.
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08-03-2008, 03:08 AM
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#3 |
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TWFix Legend
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Denver CO
Moto: 01 BMW F650GS Dakar
Posts: 15,677
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 that's awesome... I think he was scared he was falling for you |
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08-03-2008, 03:10 AM
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#4 |
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Ride Like an Asshole
Join Date: Feb 2008
Moto: nothing...
Posts: 11,254
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Honestly there towards the end of both conversations I was getting pretty concerned for my own well being... I'm like 250lbs of chewed bubble gum and this dude was like 250lbs of solid roid rage... I just have this problem with the buffer between my mouth and my brain... there's pretty much no sense of reason between the two... add in about 10 Bud Lights and all bets are off.
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08-03-2008, 03:29 AM
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#5 |
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TWFix Legend
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Denver CO
Moto: 01 BMW F650GS Dakar
Posts: 15,677
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I'm sure it wouldn't have gotten past two punches... bouncers or friends would have jumped in
infact I had a friend in Cali that used to rely on that... he'd pick a fight with anyone in a bar because he knew it'd be broken up before he could get his ass kicked...  he'd get a good punch in and do his best to take or dodge theirs... always good for entertainment |
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08-03-2008, 03:37 AM
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#6 | |
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Ride Like an Asshole
Join Date: Feb 2008
Moto: nothing...
Posts: 11,254
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Quote:
Ed. Ed was a pretty stout guy, not especially scary to look at, but kinda gave the impression that he could ruin people. Unfortunately (for other people), this was the case. I hung out with this dude off and on for about a year (he was friends with one of my good friends)... On seven... yes, 7 separate occasions I saw this dude one-punch knock out some random dude. Totally effortless, never a sucker punch, just perfectly telegraphed and with a decent amount of force. It got to the point where I didn't even flinch when it happened. Ed would always happen to be near that dude at the bar that just starts runnin' his mouth... then Ed would ask him to chill... dude would touch Ed, Ed would touch dude... and dude would crumble. Every time. One time he did it with a beer in his free hand and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth... like clockwork this motherfucker. Knowing that dude kinda scared me straight and made me rethink being such a dick... |
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08-03-2008, 03:41 AM
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#7 |
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TWFix Legend
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Denver CO
Moto: 01 BMW F650GS Dakar
Posts: 15,677
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yeah I've seen a couple guys like that... they are ALWAYS the quiet ones... and seem to ALWAYS be the ones targeted...
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08-03-2008, 03:41 AM
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#8 |
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WSB Champion
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Springfield, MO
Posts: 7,146
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I wish I was the guy like Ed. haha.
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08-03-2008, 03:42 AM
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#9 | |
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Ride Like an Asshole
Join Date: Feb 2008
Moto: nothing...
Posts: 11,254
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Quote:
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08-03-2008, 03:45 AM
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#10 |
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TWFix Legend
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Denver CO
Moto: 01 BMW F650GS Dakar
Posts: 15,677
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no shit... I'm definatly not Ed... I can't fight for shit. but I'll sure as hell jump in if a friend gets into it
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